


Hey Winchester's, it's me a case

by Thebicirclegirl



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Supernatural
Genre: Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural, Buzzfeed unsolved crossover, Demon Shane Madej, M/M, Supernatural Crossover, The Ghoul Boys (Buzzfeed Unsolved)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thebicirclegirl/pseuds/Thebicirclegirl
Summary: While team free will were away on a hunt, Jack came across an interesting web series. Apon looking into this seemingly harmless paranormal investigation show the boys decide to do some investigating of their own. All is not what it seems with "Buzzfeed unsolved" and the boys have no idea what they walked into to.





	1. Rock and Roll

**Author's Note:**

> This mess is the result of the lack of new episodes of both shows, roll on the new series of Unsolved and the last one of Supernatural I need content and I need it now, Sincerely a Shaniac in distress.  
(5 points for picking out the Stranger Things reference in this also)

Team free will had just finished up on a hunt and had finally got back to the bunker. It was nothing special just a vamps nest, a milk run as Dean had put it. It was good to be home they thought as they came in the front entrance and saw Jack waiting for them.  
Jack happily greeted his three father figures as they entered the room.  
"You're back!" he said elated.  
"Yeah just a few vampires nothing we can't handle" Sam yawned as he plonked into the chair next to Jack exhausted.  
"Hey kid you seem happy" Dean declared glad to see Jack so joyful. He hadn't seen the boy so smiley in a long time.  
"I'm doing research!" He beamed back at Dean "and I think I've found us a new case"  
Jack turned the laptop around to show Sam, Dean and Castiel his discovery.  
"Buzzfeed unsolved: supernatural?" Sam read the title of the series allowed.  
"Oh great more ghostfacers that's just what we need" Dean stated sarcastically.  
"Jack many of these paranormal shows are based on fabrications to get their ratings up, I don't think this is a case" Castiel tried to explain to his son.  
"I know but this is different Cass I know it. Look at all this evidence" Jack typed away at the laptop and pulled up an episode of the show for them to watch.  
The trio humoured their adopted son as they sat down and watched the odd happenings unfold on screen from the episode entitled "The Demonic Goatman's bridge"

  
[Ryan] Dude, I'm (chuckles nervously) I'm so nervous.  
[Shane] How can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that?  
[Ryan] Because I know whats underneath it.  
[shane] Nighttime, darkness?  
[Ryan] And demons, I hate demons.<

Team free will then watched a handful of other episodes and concluded that this wasn't any normal bogus supernatural investigation show, this was legit. Things were happening on screen that couldn't be explained away by coincidence or the wind. It was a case. Everywhere these men go something weird happens. Maybe the ghost hunters were being haunted by a wandering spirt attached to a something they took from one of the haunted locations? They didn't know really but they sure as hell were gonna find out what was going on with this unsolved show.

"Okay I think you're onto something kid" Dean sighed tired from working the vamps nest case. He didn't think he'd be back in the saddle quite so soon after wrapping the last case up. He wasn't getting any younger that's for sure. All he wanted was to have a shower and go to sleep, but when duty calls he had to answer.  
"It is a case! I knew it" Jack stated excitedly.  
"Good eye bud you're right this ain't no movie magic. This is textbook our kinda crazy" Dean said to the others.  
"Dingo ate my baby crazy?" Sam smirked at his brother referring back to what Dean had said those so many Tuesday's at the town with the mystery spot.  
'Yeah, that type of crazy" Dean huffed.  
"So what do we do?" Jack questioned.  
"I'm on it" Sam was already on a web page of leaked information about the new season of the show. "So get this. They're filming new episodes of the show and one of the locations is the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis Missouri. Seems like their filming there tonight. It's not too far, we can drive out there and talk with those guys and warn them that their in danger." Sam  
"Is that wise? To reveal the truth about the paranormal to these internet men?" Cass pondered.  
"They could get hurt Cass or worse dead if we don't give them the whole monsters are real talk" Dean replied.  
Cass sighed and nodded in agreement with Dean begrudgingly.  
"I suppose your right" he admitted, it's very hard to disagree with the man you hauled out of hell no matter how hard you wanted to.  
"Right I'll get my stuff" Jack stood up from the table and started to walk away.  
"Actually kid your staying here with Sam" Dean corrected him as he went into full Dad mode.  
Sam rolled his eyes at Dean, thinking "Great why am I always left to baby sit" when in all honesty he was glad he'll have some time to rest up.  
"Dean, I can be helpful! I found the case why won't you let me help" Jack said with hurt in his eyes.  
"He didn't mean it like that Jack, of course you're helpful. Look me and Dean will meet these Ryan and Shane people and tell them how to avoid being gruesomely killed and then come home right away isn't that right Dean?" Castiel shot Dean the "just agree with me" look.  
"Exactly, you won't even miss out on anything it's gonna be a snooze fest trust me" Dean assured him.  
Jack didn't look very pleased with this arrangement.  
Dean gave Sam a look to try and get him to placate Jack with some incentive to want to stay in the bunker out of potential harms way.  
"Hey jack how about you and me go to that icecream parlour you like in town my treat" Sam  
"I doubt they'll have kale smoothies in Scoops Ahoy Sam" Jack answered flatly  
"I'll be fine, I can get a sundae. That has some fruit in it at least" Sam smiled weakly. What's so wrong with being healthy around here he mused to himself. Jack runs on sugar and Dean on cholesterol and Cass well it's Cass. He doesn't need food to survive. In comparison to the rest of the bunker boys diets, he was a health nut.  
Jack perked up at the thought of a giant icecream to himself "Okay I guess that could be fun" Jack admitted now fully on board with staying behind from a hunt again.  
"That's the spirt kid!" Dean patted Jack on the back and smiled down at him.  
"If anything goes south we'll let you know Sammy" Dean said to his younger brother as he headed out the door with Castiel ready to embark on another case.  
Another case, another day of saving people hunting things, the family business.


	2. Stairway to heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel head off on their long journey to the Lemp Mansion in St. Louis. If only the music selection was more up Dean's alley...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably started writing this in the worst time ever, I just started college and I have no free time anymore but I'll try and keep posting chapters of this when I can for anyone who cares-peace from an exhausted college girl.

After Dean and Castiel said their goodbyes to Jack and Sam they made their way to the impala. The hunter loaded up the trunk with some extra gear from the bunker just to be safe. You never know what could happen on a hunt, expect the unexpected he always said.  
"No rest for the Winchesters" Dean mumbled to himself as he clambered into the drivers seat of baby, but Cass heard him plain as day. How could he not with his impeccable angelic senses?  
"I'm here too Dean" Cass pointed out "All of this doesn't just rest on your shoulders you know that right?" He added sadness creeping into those big blue eyes.

"Hey, Cass buddy I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that there's always something, another case another the world is ending again kinda deal. We can't seem to catch a break, I'd love just one free week. Me, you, Sam and Jack on a beach somewhere drinking out of coconuts is that so much to ask for?" Dean pondered. He couldn't remember the last time they had a weekend to themselves with no case thrown into the mix to ruin their free time.  
Cass smiled weakly back up at Dean. If anyone deserved a vacation it definitely was team free will 2.0, but it likely would never come to pass.

"You're a Winchester too Cass. Not by name sure, but a wise man once told me family don't end with blood." Dean said turning to look Cass in the eye to hammer the point home that he saw him as family, and everyone knows that nothing matters more to Dean Winchester than his family.  
The pair sat in silence for a while after that, just enjoying being in each other's company. Maybe it was their so called "profound bond" with each other but both the hunter and the Angel just felt better when the other was at their side.

The tiresome eight hour car journey from Lebanon to St. Louis was speed along by the soundtrack of the impalas radio which Dean had switched on and turned up so it was blaring at full volume.  
"You're listening to 95.5 FM, home of the oldies but the goodies. Coming at you now we have a little song from 79' by the Talking Heads. This is Heaven" The station presentor said introducing the next song.

"Everyone is trying  
To get to the bar  
The name of the bar  
The bar is called heaven

The band in heaven  
They play my favorite song  
Play it one more time  
Play it all night long

Heaven  
Heaven is a place  
A place where nothing  
Nothing ever happens  
Heaven  
Heaven is a place  
A place where nothing  
Nothing ever happens

There is a party  
Everyone is there  
Everyone will leave  
At exactly the same time

It's hard to imagine that  
Nothing at all  
Could be so exciting  
Could be this much fun

Heaven  
Heaven is a place  
A place where nothing  
Nothing ever happens  
Heaven  
Heaven is a place  
A place where nothing  
Nothing ever happens

When this kiss is over  
It will start again  
It will not be any different  
It will be exactly the same

It's hard to imagine  
That nothing at all  
Could be so exciting  
Could be this much fun

Heaven  
Heaven is a pla-"

The song was cut short when Castiel reached over to the stereo and switched the radio off.  
"Not a fan of David Byrne, Cass?" Dean asked cautiously, fully aware that it wasn't the singers fault that Castiel had turned the song off.  
"It's just the subject matter." The Angel stated clearly flustered. "It's rather repetitive don't you think?" It does have some truth to it however" Castiel stated.  
"Oh yeah?" Dean said, eyes feeling heavy already from driving for such a long period of time.  
"Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens" Cass recited the songs chorus.  
"I wouldn't call civil wars nothing Cass" Dean replied recalling the turmoil that always seems to occur up in the silver city.  
"You don't understand Dean, all that is meaningless. It's here on Earth where things have true meaning. Here there's loyalty and friendship"  
His eyes met with Deans "Love. None of those things can be found there. I prefer it here. Here with my family" A soft smile snuck onto the Angels face as he told that to Dean.  
"Well when you put it like that, maybe here ain't so bad after all" Dean pondered aloud. 

He was grateful he always had Sammy's companionship growing up. Castiel never had need for such trivial connections in heaven. The Angels were made to be soildiers not to make friends and it showed. Dean was the first real friend Cass had and he was proud of that. Of course he felt guilty that the dude rebelled for his sake and met his dismise for it more than once but almost ten years on, he was proud to call Cass his best friend. Dean couldn't even imagine what would have happened to him if Castiel had never came into his life. He rather wouldn't think about that really. He'd still be stuck in hell if it weren't for Cass coming to his rescue. He needed Cass more than he'd ever know and he wished he could tell him that but he didn't know where to begin with such a heavy piece of emotional baggage to unload onto him

"Dean?" Castiel tried to get the hunters attention who was clearly wrapped up in his own thoughts.  
"Huh?" Dean shook himself back to the present moment.  
Cas dug into his pocket and produced a black cassette tape which read "Deans top 13 Zepp Traxx". It was hard to tell if the choice to spell the word "tracks" with two x's was Deans subtle way of showing affection for the Angel or if they were cool edgy x's to reinforce how macho Dean thought he was.  
"Do you mind if we listen to this instead?" Cass asked knowing that of course no objections would be had with playing Dean's favourite band.  
"Of course not" Dean said glad he found a way to avoid using the phrase "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole" and still get to listen to his favourite tunes.  
The pair continued their drive to Missouri accompanied by Deans mixtape that Cass had carefully shoved into the tape deck.  
"I'm glad you like it man" Dean smiled softly.  
"You have good taste in music Dean" Cass replied "and besides its the only gift I've ever received. It's special to me" The Angel seemed to go a little pink after saying that. Apparently it doesn't take a lot to make a Seraph blush.  
Dean smirked quietly to himself and drove on. Occasionally he tapped his hands on the steering wheel in time with the different Led Zeppelin songs, feeling pretty confident that Cass didn't care about the music on the tape itself but the sentiment of receiving it from Dean. That made him happy beyond words.  
Neither hunter nor angel aware of what was waiting for them when they finally reached their destination of St. Louis. If they only knew, they would have turned the car right back around as fast as they could.


	3. Good Times Bad Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean finally make it to the Lemp mansion where they meet with the ghoul boys, Ryan and Shane...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I posted the last chapter, we were blessed with trailers for both upcoming seasons of unsolved and supernatural and I'm hella thankful, content is coming soon friends!

The boys drove on towards the Lemp Mansion after a food pit stop at a cheap burger joint. Dean scoffed a double cheeseburger faster than you could say "Poughkeepsie" as Cass awkwardly watched the hunter eat. Once Dean had got some well needed cholesterol into his system, the pair got back on the road.  
As they got closer to the mansion, Dean then noticed that Cass looked extremely worried.  
"You okay man?" Dean said trying to remain calm even though his heart was pounding heavily in his chest. Castiel wasn't a whimp, he was actually kind of a badass. Anything that made him worried made Dean feel terrified.  
"There's something wrong here" Cass stated ominously.  
"Like pineapple on pizza wrong or human sacrifice wrong?" Dean joked playfully to mask his own concern.  
Dean didn't need to look up from the road to know the Angel was rolling his eyes at Dean's quip.  
"There's something very powerful in this area, but I'm not sure what it is" Cass said as he looked out the window of the impala, like a big sign would appear out of nowhere saying "danger this way".  
"The element of surprise, great my favourite" Dean sarcastically said as they finally pulled up outside the mansion.

"A genteel hotel with Victorian-style suites in a historic mansion, plus a quaint eatery and ghost tours" Castiel read the description of the building from his phone aloud.  
"Dean you're gonna like this bit" Cass chuckled, whist looking at the webpage for the formidable mansion in front of them.  
"What could I possibly like about this place?" Dean replied gesturing to the imposing building.  
"There's a brewery" Cass told Dean, knowing he was onto a winner with that little anecdote.  
Dean's eyes lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree at the mention of a brewery.  
"Finally! A case with alcohol on site. It took awhile but we got one!" Dean said as he and Cass slid out of the car.  
"Wow Spooky isn't it" Dean gazed up at the Lemp Mansion in a state of awe.  
"Generally yes. It's supposed to be a paranormal hotspot, those aren't the most welcoming of locations" Cass remarked, as they walked in step with each other up to the mansions entrance.  
They sussed the place out before entering through a side door with a key they had aquired from the owner of the building, Matt at the burger joint. Sam had got in touch with him back at the bunker. He had made up a fake story and then wired them a handsome sum of money to for use of the location for their own made up paranormal investigation show.

"There's no wardings up here" Castiel noted allowed.  
"Of course not, these people actually want to see scary shit" Dean stated as he pulled out two cans of red spray paint out of his duffel and chucked one to his Angel buddy who caught it with one hand. "What a show off " Dean thought to himself, when in reality he liked all of Cass's little quirks. Well, maybe not his heightened sense of smell. That particular trait of the Angel made it very hard to play off a fart as just a squeaky shoe and oh boy had he tried.  
"Get spraying Bansky" Dean smirked, as he started graffitiing sigils around the manor.  
A few devil's traps under some well placed rugs and under every bed in the house.  
"That should do the trick if there is a demon in the joint. They're bound to end up trapped in one of those" Dean mused to himself.

"Somethings very off about all this Dean. It's very unusual for a demon to pursue humans like it seems to with these Ryan and Shane people" Castiel thought aloud.  
"Maybe one of them made a deal with a crossroads demon and their card never got punched after ten years with all the chaos downstairs" Dean motioned under his feet as if just saying the word "hell" would give him bad luck. How much worse luck could he have anyways? He reckoned it was all those mirrors him and Sammy had to break when they dealt with Bloody Mary, all those years ago.  
"I don't know Dean, it's not very likely" Cass said skeptically.  
They were interrupted by the sound of the Mansion's droning doorbell being rung."That's them now" Dean stated as they made their way to the front entrance.  
Dean was preparing to give the two men the "monsters are real speech". That part of the job wasn't his favourite, and he usually left all that emotionally charged stuff for Sammy. Dean preferred the more brute force aspect of hunting.

Dean opened the heavy wooden door to be met with the familiar sight of Ryan from the videos they had watched earlier.  
"Um hi? We were told Matt would be meeting us here" the shorter man from the videos, stated confused to be met with Dean and Cass at the door instead.  
Dean put on a friendly smile.  
"He took the night off. We're filling in for him, hope that's alright" Dean lied, you know, like a liar.  
"No that's fine. It doesn't matter as long as this scary fucking place is the same right" Ryan shifted around, he was visibly uncomfortable to be in the mansion.  
"I'm Ryan" he announced, holding his hand out to shake Dean and Cass's hands respectively.  
Dean was impressived by Ryan's surprisingly firm hand shake, after seeing how frightened he gets during their videos.  
Cass hadn't said a word since Ryan arrived and he looked for quite lack of a better word "constipated" to Dean.  
"I'm Dean, this is Cass" Dean introduced themselves, not feeling the need to use aliases.  
"Where's the other one?" Cass motioned to Ryan suddenly.  
Ryan seemed rightfully taken back but the Angel's abruptness.  
"What my rude coworker meant to say was, isn't there another host?" Dean corrected through gritted teeth holding back the urge to grab Cass by the shoulders and ask him what the fuck he was doing. Talk about bad cop.  
"Oh Shanes just grabbing our bags out of the car. He'll be up in a second. Sorry do you mind telling me where the restroom is? I've had a very long car ride over here" Ryan looked relieved as Dean pointed to a door at the end of the hallway and hurried off to relieve himself.

"Hey buddy you doing okay you look like you're going into labour over there" Dean said concerned with the angel's wellbeing.  
"This isn't good Dean" Cass said flatly.  
"What a guy with a tiny bladder? It's cute you're concerned but that's a bit overly sympathetic man" Dean patronised Cass.  
"No I'm not talking about urination. Dean there's a very strong demonic presence here that wasn't here earlier" Castiel retorted, as they bickered like the old married couple that they are.  
"Well it's not captain tinkle pants at least" Dean concluded referring to Ryan. I "He would have got stuck at the door by the Devils trap if he was a demon."  
"No it's not Ryan. He's human, very human with such a small bladder capacity" Cass stopped his train of thought as the bathroom door swung open and Ryan came back out looking very happy with himself.  
"Sorry guys when nature calls am I right?" Ryan laughed nervously.

The front door swung open and a tall man wearing a hoodie, a flannel and a jean jacket strolled into the foyer. He reminded Dean of a Russian nesting doll with all those layers. He didn't trust someone with that many layers on. Well apart from Cass, but he wasn't just anyone.  
"Oh finally, I was gonna call a search party for you dude" Ryan sighed as his cohost Shane entered into the hallway, with bags full of filming gear in tow.  
"Well you did pack like five bags of those crappy gizmos" Shane defended his lateness.  
"The spirt box is not crap! It's important ghost hunting gear Shane" Ryan huffed. "Look man I know you don't believe in the supernatural but can you at least try to seem somewhat interested?" He added with a sharp tone.  
"Yeah uh huh" Shane replied flatly placing the bags near the door with a grunt.  
"Dean, Cass this is my annoying co-host Shane" Ryan gestured lazily to the lanky man, still clearly angered with Shane's lack of enthusiasm in ghost hunting.  
"Nice to meet you guys" Shane said as he looked towards the hunter and the Angel. "Very nice" He smirked,  
eyes going wide as he looked them up and down.  
Cass balled his hands into fists at his sides.  
"I'm gonna set up the static cams in the bedrooms. Shane you do the same here. That is if you can find it in you to be interested enough" Ryan stormed up the stairs carrying two bags of camera gear.  
"Oh boy, the excitement of it all" Shane jested as he began setting up the downstairs cameras.  
Dean looked at Cass and instantly knew shit was about to hit the fan. Castiel had his game face on and Dean had every right to be worried, even if he didn't know why yet.


	4. Communication Breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cass discover what exactly Shane Madej is...

Once Ryan was safely out of earshot Castiel began verbally assaulting the lanky ghost hunter.  
"What are you doing here?" Cass shouted with venom in his tone.  
"Uhh I'm setting up some cameras bro, what does it look like" Shane answered innocently.  
"You think this is funny" The angel barked back at him.  
"I think you need to calm down man" Shane stated raising his hands in the air.  
"Don't act dumb, I know WHAT you are. I know WHO you are" Cass stepped into Shanes personal space.  
Dean began to worry that Cass had just started a fight with an unassuming internet personality but he waited it out to see if the Angel's theory was right. Whatever that theory was.  
"Look pal, I'm here to do my show with my friend. I don't want any trouble" Shane said sounding irritated.  
With that, Cass bolted forward and pinned the taller man against the wall.  
"WOAH THERE CONSTANTINE, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" Shane hollered. 

Castiel looked furious and Dean started to panic as the situation was getting out of hand.  
"Um Cass buddy, what are you doing?" Dean said through gritted teeth, starting to worry that they'll get jailed for assault.  
"What the hell dude?" Shane squirmed under the Angels firm grip.  
"Dean get the holy water" Cass instructed his partner.  
"Cass he can't be a demon, there's a devils trap under the rug at the door he would have got stuck" Dean tried to reason with the Angel.  
"Just humour me Dean" Cass insisted.  
Shane looked totally petrified, but Dean trusted Castiel's judgement to give the dude the demon test.  
Dean complied with his angel's request and grabbed the container of holy water and splashed it onto Shanes face. Nothing happened, shit he's just a dude.  
"Cass leave the guy alone this has gone too far" Dean began to think the Angel had lost the run of themselves.

"Your eyes, show us your eyes" Castiel demanded.  
"You can see my eyes you crazy dick" Shane spat back at him.  
"No, your real eyes. Or do we have to call your friend down here?" The Angel threatened.  
"Leave Ryan out of this" Shane pleaded, dropping the scared act.  
Cass loosened his grip on the other man as Shane sighed.  
Then Dean knew why Castiel had gone fully Jason Bourne on this guy's ass.  
Yellow eyes. Shane had yellow eyes. Dean felt sick apon realising what they had on there hands. Whatever hatred the hunter had for regular old black eyes demons, was nothing compared to how much he despised the yellow eyed variety. Azazel had ruined his chance of a normal life when he burned his mother on that ceiling, and cursed baby Sammy with that demon blood. It didn't matter that this freak wasn't Azazel, they were cut out of the same fabric as them and Dean wanted to gank the fucker right then and there.

"You happy now?" The demon raised his hands in the air and changed his yellow peepers  
back to normal human looking eyes.  
"A prince of hell. You have to be fricking kidding me right now" Dean mumbled, realising why holy water had no effect on the bastard. Son of a bitch, why was it always them that and to deal with this level of weird cases. Out of all the hunters in the country, they always get landed with fucking the yellow eyed demons.  
"I'm retired actually, not a prince anymore. Try the demon formerly known as a prince?" Shane corrected Dean's statement.  
"How can you retire from being a demon" Dean quipped back at Shane ignoring how good of a pun that was.  
"Worked out fine for you Dean" Shane said pointedly to the hunter.  
Castiel and Dean locked eyes with each other in a state of confusion.  
"What you didn't think I knew who you two were! You're guys are practically famous, are you doing autographs by the way? That would go for big bucks on eBay" Shane told them excitedly.  
"How does a retired demon know about us might I ask" Castiel queryied.  
"I may be retired but I hear things, You two have reputations that exceed you." A smile planted itself across the princes pale face.  
"Oh yeah, how's that" Dean demanded to hear what the demon had heard about him and Cass.  
"Well I heard that feathers here was quite the spanner in the works during the whole 'let's throw an apocalypse' thing and of course everyone and their mother knows that Dean Winchester spent some time as a demon. Happens to the best of us pal, trust me" Beezelbub shot finger guns at the hunter and Dean looked as if he was going to hit the roof.

"Enough! All the princes of hell are dead how is this possible" Castiel interrupted, before Dean lost his cool and tried to beat the demon to a pulp.  
"Like I said I retired. Well I guess it was more of a disownment come to think of it" Shane admitted to them.  
'What kind of evil do you gotta do to get kicked out of hell?" Dean asked, skin crawling at the thought of what fucked up crap you'd need to do for that to happen.  
"The opposite actually. I wasn't being bad enough and my siblings kinda covered up my existence, you know the bad apple metaphor. Well, I guess this is a good Apple metaphor. Call the English majors about that one." Shane shrugged.  
"So which one are you then, because 'Shane' doesn't scream prince of hell to me" Dean retorted.  
"That isn't me anymore, I don't want to dig up old bones" Shane insisted, not wanting to delve into his past.  
Castiel's eyes began to glow bright blue and he unfurled his ebony wings as a warning.  
"Or if you just keep prying, fine" Shane sighed, knowing the Angel wasn't throwing around false threats. "Beezelbub alright, they called me Beezelbub" he admitted reluctantly.

"Wait you're "the Lord of the flies" Dean said looking puzzled, as Shane wasn't what he had imagined such a famous demon to look like. What kind of demon wears chinos? A hipster demon that's who, Dean shuddered at his own thought.  
"Was the Lord of the flies. Past tense Dean-o, now I'm a video producer" Shane stated, proud of his new title.  
"So what now you're Lord of the windows movie maker?" Dean chuckled at his own joke like the dork he was.  
"You think you're quite the comedian don't you?" Shane tone getting serious "You don't know what it was like for me! Youngest of the princes, having to live up to my sister and brothers tyranny. Who would want that? Not me bucko. I did my share of bad in the past I'm not denying it. We all do some crazy shit when we're drunk! I'm just saying I'm trying to make up for it all" Shane looked down at the ground pensively.  
"And how are you doing that exactly" The Winchester asked skeptically.  
"Ryan. He be dead if I wasn't body guarding his scared ass" Shane stated proudly.  
"And what exactly do you get in return from this relationship" Castiel asked suspicious of the demons motives.  
"Um let me think hmm. Friendship? Ever heard of it. We both love Tom cruise movies and popcorn. Geez you guys never heard of someone not having an ulterior motive before. What a cynical existence you guys have" Shane said, sounding actually saddened by the thought that Dean and Cass really were that cynical.

"Demons always have an ulterior motive" Dean shot back at him.  
"Oh sure Dean, go on be a racist that's totally chill of you" Shane rolled his eyes.  
"Why didn't the Devils trap contain you" Castiel interjected trying not to get into a racially charged fight.  
"I may be a demon, but I'm not dumb. I think you'll find I did a bit of redecorating while you two were getting chummy with my pal Ryan" Shane smirked to himself.  
Dean lifted the rug to see their spray paint was gone "So that's what was taking you so long out there" he sighed, realising how much time they wasted spraying sigils when they could have been testing the product in the brewery instead.  
"Well that and I was thinking of booking it the fuck out of here honestly" Shane admitted to the pair.  
Dean and Cass exchanged a confused glance with each other.  
"What are you so afraid of?" Dean asked the demon.  
"Trouble and you two sure are it. Look I just want to be left alone. If you haven't noticed but your band of merry men kinda iced the other princes, so I'd like to be alive that you very much" Shane remarked.  
Dean had to give it to the guy, he was actually telling the truth. Dean had offed Azazel, Sam Ramiel, Cass Dagon and Gabriel Asmodeus. If Beezelbub turned out to be a problem they had dealt with his kind before. Of course they didn't have the Colt anymore which would have been nice to have right about now.

"Your friend Ryan, does he know what you are?" Castiel asked the prince of hell.  
"Are you crazy? Of course not and I'd like to keep it that, he hates demons" Shane replied.  
"Same here" The hunter shot back.  
"Oh please Dean, you were a demon" Shane looked accusingly at the elder Winchester.  
"You watch your mouth" Dean snarled at Beezelbub.  
"Or what you gonna do about it hmm? You really think I'm scared of a busted up Angel and a salty hunter? Please I kill could you guys without breaking a sweat if I wanted to!" Shane raised his volume. Dean and Cass knew he wasn't joking. "But I won't if you just leave me alone" returning to a civilised pitch. The Angel and the hunter looked at each other trying to decide what to do next.  
"Please" Shane pleaded with them.  
Dean signalled for Cass to release Shane from his compromised position pinned against the wall.  
"Thank you" he sighed.  
"This doesn't mean we believe your little sob story or trust you for that matter" Dean admitted.  
"Yeah yeah, touché chief" Shane said brushing himself off.

The three turned as they heard Ryan's footsteps from up the stairwell.  
"Shane, we've got a problem" The ghost hunter looked pale.  
"Yeah what's up bud?" Shane replied.  
"It's the company, they called my cell. Our cameraman won't be coming." Ryan explained looking a bit disoriented.  
"Is he okay?" Genuine concern painted the demons face.  
"I'm not really sure." Ryan looked a bit lost for words. "They said an FBI agent called them to say he was wanted for questioning. They just said to carry on filming without him because the budget won't allow us to show up another night for a reshoot" he told his co-host.  
"Those fucking cheap skates. Wait the FBI wanted to speak with him? Dude's harmless." Shane said to Ryan.  
"Yeah that's what I was thinking but apparently Agent Young thinks otherwise. Well at least if he is doing some shadey shit we'll have good material for the new season of true crime right" Ryan replied, trying to make light of the situation.  
The cogs started turning in Dean's head as he realised that Agent Young must be Sam's alias for the day, ala Angus Young the lead of ACDC. His younger brother probably suspected the shows camera man of being a demon, when in reality it was one of the hosts. He should really call Sam and tell him to get that camera guy off the hook. On the other hand he didn't want to tell Sammy the extent of their problem either. He'd figure it out, some white lies here and there never hurt anyone right?

Ryan's face fell when he looked around the ground floor and saw it lacked cameras.  
"Shane you set up only one camera? Just one! In all that time. You're unbelievable man you know that" Ryan was visibly mad. He was like a tiny tea kettle about to explode. Adorable but kinda scary nonetheless.  
"That was our fault actually. Me and Cass were discussing why Shane doesn't believe in the supernatural." Dean pipped up and brushed off Ryan's concerns by promptly changing the subject.  
"Really" Ryan perked up at the chance to banter with other people who believed in ghosts.  
"Yeah, turns out I'm outnumbered" Shane told Ryan "besides I have a damn go-pro strapped on me, I think we'll get enough footage of the wind knocking things over"  
"Let me guess you had a religious upbringing?" Ryan turned to the two other "believers", totally ignoring his cohosts ramblings about the actual shoot.  
"Oh yeah, you know it" Dean nodded in agreement with Ryan.  
"A very religious upbringing" Castiel added exhaustedly, remembering the "fun" times he had spent in the silver city with his brothers and sisters.

Shane clapped his hands together grabbing the groups attention.  
"Hey one camera is plenty down here we just need the one for the intro, how about we just get started already?" Shane said to his co-host.  
"Wow, he never shows this kind of enthusiasm during investigations. What did you guys do to him" Ryan joked unaware of the little bust up the boys had while he was fiddling with camera equipment upstairs.  
Dean opened his mouth the speak but was interpreted by Shane replying for him.  
"Nothing, they did nothing now come on you fucking scaredy cat. We've got ghosts to bust" Shane motioned for Ryan to sit down in front of the camera in the front room to film their introduction for the episode.  
"Okay, okay I'm doing it big man" Ryan plonked down next to Shane, as Cass and Dean watched on from the sidelines.  
The two hosts clipped their mics to their shirts and began the intro for the episode.

"This week on buzzfeed unsolved we are at the historical Lemp mansion in St. Louis, as part of our ongoing investigation into the question, are ghosts real?" Ryan stated.  
Shane shook his head immediately at this statement.  
"Since it was built in 1868, this place has been the site for a number of tragedies. There's no telling what horrors we might witness tonight" Ryan said, trying to hype up the creepiness of the location for the episode.  
"Why what happened" Shane asked.  
"Several Lemp family member died in this house via sucicide. It's the Lemp family curse" Ryan explained.  
"Ouch" Shane winched.  
"Yeah it's not good, but you know what's the only great thing about this fucking nightmare house" Ryan mused.  
"Do tell good sir" Shane replied.  
"There's a brewery" Ryan told his co-host.  
"Shut the front door, there's not" The demon looked hyped for booze.  
"I'm serious, there is" Ryan confirmed the presence of the brewery.  
Glee painted Shanes face, in a similar way that Dean's had when he heard about the brewery.  
"The ghoul boys are having some brewskies tonight bay-bee!" Shane excitedly announced.  
Ryan laughed heartily and Shane smiled back at him.  
"Let's get going. We're staying in the Elsa Lemp suite, it's supposed to be the most haunted of the bedrooms" Ryan said anxiously.

Dean and Castiel felt uneasy at this while exchange.  
Was it possible that the demon truly did just like being the humans friend?  
They sure seemed to be having a good time together.  
"Hey guys, how about we grab some cams for y'all it can't be that hard" Dean offered as wanted to keep an eye on the demon, and this was the best way to do so.  
"Really you wouldn't mind that would be swell" Ryan sighed with relief as he showed Dean and Castiel how to work the cameras.  
"The more the merrier right big guy?" Ryan said gladly to his co-host, as he had two boogaras on his side.  
"Right" Shane snarled back.  
Dean knew it was going to be a very long night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this reads weirdly please note that I was drunk when I wrote it hashtag living that Dean Winchester way of life lately.


	5. Ramble On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the investigation of the Lemp Mansion continues, so do the hijinks.

The new and improved Buzzfeed unsolved crew made their way up the narrow staircase that led to the Elsa Lemp suite.   
"Well this room is fucking eerie" Ryan shuddered as he took in his surroundings.  
"It's a bedroom dude, how is that eerie?" Shane shot back at him in a mocking tone.  
"Yeah, a dead ladies bedroom dingus" His co-host said, justifying his own discomfort.  
"How many living women's bedrooms do you skulk around in at this hour of the night Ryan?" The demon joked. 

"I will murder you in your sleep Madej, don't test me" Ryan said smiling as he threatened his buddy.  
"Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before" Shane said rolling his eyes.  
"Don't make me bust out Ricky Goldsworth" Ryan warned raising his volume.  
"Who's Ricky Goldsworth" Cass and Dean asked in unison, carrying the cameras with them.  
"The fans think Ryan has another personality who's a serial killer called Ricky Goldsworth" Shane explained, as if that was a normal everyday sentence.

"Yeah well it's all made up guys don't worry, our fans are a little bit crazy. They also think Shane is a demon and that just absurd" He laughed, unaware of that theory's accuracy.  
The rest of the group forced laughter, to keep Shane's little secret under wraps. Dean became suddenly worried that Ryan might actually be a serial killer then, but he remembered how scared he was in the videos so that couldn't be legit could it? Well if he went Ted Bundy on their asses Dean reckoned he could take him.

"Thoses crazy kids!" Shane said playing it off as an absurd idea.  
While the self proclaimed 'ghoul boys' were chatting amongst themselves, Dean thought it would be a good time to dip out and check back in with Sam and Jack back at the bunker.  
"I gotta make a quick call, I'll be right back" Dean nodded to Cass to keep a handle on the situation in his absence, as he headed out of the suite down to a little side room upstairs.

Dean grabbed his cell out from his pocket and hit speedial.  
"Sammy, hey it's me" He said.  
"Hey, Me and Jack just got back home good timing. You guys doing okay?" His younger brother asked concerned.  
"Yeah we're doing peachy here, how's the kid" Dean pondered.  
"Oh Jack? I'll let him tell you himself" you could hear Sam smiling through the phone as he passed the phone onto Jack.

"Hey kiddo, how you doing?" Dean asked him.  
"Dean don't be mad but I got a Guinea pig" Jack told his father figure.  
"A Guinea pig?" The hunter asked.  
"Yeah they're like fat hamsters I couldn't leave him there in the pet store, the guy said he was gonna feed it to the snake!" Jack explained the spontaneous purchase of said Guinea pig.  
"I know what a Guinea pig is Jack and they were messing with you buddy" Dean assured him.  
"Oh. Well I can't bring him back now he's all settled in" Jack concluded.

"Having a pet is a lot of responsibility Jack you understand that right?" Dean really didn't know how much responsibility that entailed since he never had a pet growing up. Holy shit, he realised this was his first family let at forty. Damn he was getting old.  
"I know, Sam said that you have to clean out their poop everyday!" He said excitedly.  
"What's the little rats name?" Dean asked, hoping it wasn't something ridiculous like Mister Fluffy-Butt.  
"Mike soup" Jack announced proudly.  
"Mike soup?" Dean's face scrunched up at the ridiculous name of the Guinea pig.  
"Yeah he's a character from the hotdoga" Jack explained.

"Gesundheit? The what now" Dean felt very out of touch, all of a sudden.  
"The hotdoga. It's a hot dog-saga during the Q and A's for unsolved. I might have watched more episodes while you were gone" He admitted to him.  
Dean didn't know how soup or hot dogs factored into a show about unsolved mysteries but he was too tired to keep digging.  
"Alright kid, you keep Mike alive so I can meet the little hairbag okay?" Dean instructed him.  
"I will Dean" Jack promised as he handed the phone back to Sam to go and watch Mike soup eat tiny bits of cucumber in his cage.

"Oh boy" Dean sighed down the line.  
"Yeah we had quite the day while you guys were gone" Sammy admitted.  
"Sounds like it. Mike soup? That poor Guinea pig" Dean tutted, feeling sorry for the furball.  
"Trust me, it's better than all the other names he picked" His brother assured him.  
"Like what" Dean literally couldn't think of a worse name than Mike Soup for a Guinea pig.  
"Dean 2, Castiel 2, Sam 2, Jack 2. Poor kid doesn't know too many people to name a pet after so I suggested he pick someone from the show, kids addicted to it" Sam told him.  
"Maybe he shouldn't be watching this stuff, he's only two after all" Dean said entering full Dad mode.

"Dean you let him drive the impala and drink beer, but you're suddenly concerned about the shows he watches" Sam called his brother out on his bullshit.  
"Look I just don't want my five hours sleep to get interrupted from the kid having nightmares alright" Dean admitted tiredly.  
"Dean, he sees a lot worse on hunts" Sam assured his brother.  
"You're right, I guess our lives are living nightmares" Dean said sadly. "I'm glad he's happy I am, but I hope he gets that a Guinea pig isn't an everyday thing. The bunker is not gonna become a petting zoo. Not over my dead body."

"Yeah I think Henry would be rolling in his grave if he knew what we've done with the place already. Anyway, back to the case. Dean, I think I know who's been pulling all the crap on the show" Sam said.  
"The cameraman" Dean stated flatly.  
"Yeah the cameraman, how did you know?" the younger Winchester asked bewildered.  
"I knew because our ghostbusters bosses told them that the FBI wrangled their cameraman and yours truly is filling in for him" Dean told Sam.  
"Your filming them?" Sammy chucked apon hearing this.  
"What's so funny about that?" Dean asked hurt.  
"Nothing uh it's just your more a gun shooter, not a video shooter ya know" Sam laughed down the line.

"Laugh it up Sammy, cause your theory is wrong. The cameraman he's clean" The elder hunter told him.  
"Dean you sure about that" Sam said, knowing that most of the time if he had a hunch it was almost always right.  
"Sam, I know trust me" His brother confirmed, not wanting to divulge that his source of information that the cameraman wasn't a demon was a fricking prince of hell.  
"Okay I'm not saying you're wrong but, statistically speaking it's gonna be the guy who doesn't show their face on camera right" Sam insisted, totally saying that Dean was wrong but doing it nicely.  
"Well yeah but it's none of them" Dean protested still.  
"Sorry?" Sam was genuinely confused.  
"It's all bogus Sam, it's edited in to get their hits up" Dean told him, covering up what was really going on.  
"How do you know that for sure though?" Sam queryied.  
"We roughed them up a bit until they spilled the beans. It's all movie magic Sammy sorry to break it to ya" Dean lied.

"Okay if you say so, I'll call up Buzzfeed and tell them the FBI made a mistake" Sammy said, knowing that was gonna be a doozy trying to explain.  
"Everything's fine here Sam" The elder Winchester lied through his teeth. "We'll be back home tomorrow afternoon okay?"  
"Ya, sure look Dean call me if anything weird happens alright?" Sam begged.  
"Of course, night Sammy" He added.

"Bye Dean-Oh and tell Cass to check his bank account. He's not gonna be happy" Sam told him.  
"Great, leave me to break that to him" Dean huffed.  
"Hey, he can't ever be actually mad at you for more than five minutes. I don't have that luxury" Sam admitted.  
"Its true, fair enough then" Dean smiled to himself.  
"Bye Sammy" Dean said.  
"Bye Dean" Sam replied.

Dean hung up the phone and with that he was in the clear. He had snuck a little white lie past Sam, yet again. What was the harm in that? Besides he and Cass had everything under control right?  
He walked back into the Elsa Lemp suite and tapped Castiel on the shoulder. He decided to start with the bad news about bank account first and then follow with the Guinea pig to soften the financial blow with the cuteness factor of the small rodent.

"Um Cass, Sam told me to check your bank account" Dean informed his partner cautiously.  
Castiel slipped out his phone and checked his balance online.  
"I've been billed for a hat, a tshirt and a sweatshirt from the buzzfeed unsolved merch store" the Angel sighed.  
"I didn't knew you guys were fans? Do you want us to sign some stuff for you?" Ryan asked gleefully.  
"That was our kid, he's a big fan" Dean explained.

"Oh you guys are a couple, sorry I didn't realise" Ryan apologised.  
"No need for the apology, some people still aren't awake" Castiel stated blankly.  
Shane and Ryan looked to each other trying to understand what Cass was talking about.  
"Did I say that incorrectly again Dean?" Cass turned to his partner for assistance.  
"He means woke guys" Dean explained.  
Ahhh the unsolved boys noised in unison.

"Um can I ask a question I'm not sure I want answered" Dean turned to the unsolved boys.  
Shane looked scared.  
"Who's Mike soup?" Dean asked.  
Shane began laughing hysterically while Ryan looked severely annoyed.  
"He's the Captain of the Starship Minestrone in the hotdoga, commissioned by Ryan Steven Bergara" Shane stated.  
"Don't bring me into your stupid food story" Ryan warned Shane.  
"So he's like Han Solo but soup?" The Winchester concluded.  
"In a way yeah" The demon agreed.  
"I can dig that" The hunter nodded. "Our kid just got a Guinea pig and he called him Mike soup"  
"Now that's cute" Shane admitted.

Castiel's eyes grew wide. The Angel was a sucker for animals, he loved bees and cats but Guinea pigs were one of his favourite creatures. Jack apparently shared this trait with his chosen Dad.  
"He really got a Guinea pig?" Cass turned to Dean.  
"Yeah Cass" Dean confirmed.  
"I need to see it right away, I'll ask him to send me a picture now" Cass took out his phone and messaged Jack instructing him to send a photo of their new pet at once.  
His phone pinged and the group huddled around the Angel to grab a glimpse of the Guinea pig.

"I love him" Castiel said instantly apon seeing the Guinea pig.  
"Okay that is cute" Dean admitted.  
Ryan and Shane just "awwwed" at the photo of the little critter.  
"As much as I'd like to look at pictures of cute animals all night we've gotta continue the shoot guys" Ryan said.  
Cass had gotten so excited about the Guinea pig he didn't realise he was holding the camera upsidedown.

"Right and rolling. We're now in the Elsa Lemp suite which is supposedly the most haunted of the bedrooms in the house. It was originally used as servants quarters, so maybe we might get to communicate with Elsa or the Lemp's staff" Ryan began.  
"Hello, Elsa or anyone else who might be in here, I'm Ryan" Ryan nudged Shane to also introduce themselves.  
"I'm Shane" He stated tiredly.

"We're aware of the so called Lemp family curse, Elsa is the curse why you shot yourself? Could you make a noise maybe? How about you turn off this flashlight" Ryan looked around the room waiting for some sign of ghost.  
"I think she wants you to let it go" Shane giggled at his own dumb frozen reference.  
"Okay fine I'll whack out the spirt box if your just gonna be a dick" Ryan said.  
Shane grunted "That things the least scientific doohickey you've got and yet you still always wanna use it"  
"Whatever man, you just don't want me to get concrete evidence of the paranormal" Ryan concluded, without knowing how truthful this statement actually was.  
As Ryan flicked on the spirt box, both Shane and Cass winced at the racket it was producing. The noise of the spirt box was annoying enough for humans, but fir Angels and demons that thing was torturous.

As the device flicked through the radio waves, the ghost hunters listened out for any actual words in the jumble of vowels and consonants it emitted. Out of nowhere Shane started laughing hysterically.  
"Care to share with the class" Ryan looked over to his co-host who was struggling to stand up with how hard they were laughing.  
"It-it sounds like that Lizzo song" Shane wiped a tear from his eye.  
"Oh my god Shane it doesn't sound like Lizzo" Ryan argued tiredly.  
"It totally does, ya know that one juice?" He said as he pulled the song up on his phone and played the clip for them.

"Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee  
Blame it on my juice, blame it, blame it on my juice  
Ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya-ee, ya-ya" Shane continued laughing away to himself.

"Jesus fucking Christ. Can we not once do a serious investigation" Ryan had his head in his hands.  
"Ryan this is deadly serious, have you guys checked the news? Is Lizzo still with us?" Shane asked genuinely asking if the singer had died.  
"The ghost of the very much still alive Lizzo, would not haunt the Lemp Mansion Shane" Ryan rolled his eyes.  
"How do you know that Ryan? Are you personal friends with her?" The demon asked.  
Cass and Dean looked like they wanted the ground to swallow them up. Vampires, werewolves, ghouls they could handle that but petty squabbles? Those were out of their ballpark.  
"Okay I'm trying to keep this shit show together okay? Spirts, are you there? My names Ryan and that's my pal Shane can you say our names back for us" Ryan said.  
The four listened to the static of the spirt box jump from station to station.

"HE" The box blurted.   
"Was that a hello? Hello? Elsa Lemp are you speaking with us?" Ryan  
"HELL" It spat.  
"I don't think that was a hello Ryan" Shane began to say.  
Ryan shushed his co-host "Shut up man!"  
"My names Ryan and that's my pal Shane, can you say our names back for us?"  
The static grew louder "RYAN"   
"Holy shit Shane it fucking said my name" Ryan excitedly hit Shanes arm.

"It's a coincidence man" the demon tried to play it off.  
"How about Shane, can you say his name for us?" Ryan politely requested.  
"BE" The box spluttered.  
"Bees?" Ryan said confused.  
"BEE" It continued.  
"I swear, if that fucking thing says Beetlejuice I'm leaving" Ryan looked nervously at the little box.  
"BEEZ" The spirt box began to say Shane's true name.  
With that, Shane lunged forward and grabbed the spirt box and smashed it against the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL SHANE, WE WERE GETTING RESPONSES" Ryan yelled turning round to face him.  
"That thing was giving me a migrane" His co-host huffed.  
"You're such a jerk, I was getting real communication from spirts but your skeptical ass can't handle being wrong can you?" Ryan looked done.  
"Ryan I-" Shane began to apopgise.  
"Save it Shane" Ryan stormed out of the room and down the stairs.

"That was a close one" The prince of hell sighed releaved.  
Dean and Castiel looked accusingly at the demon.  
"What? Was I supposed to let that ghost blow my cover" Shane cried, getting frustrated.  
"No, but you could have acted natural and not like a crazy person!" Dean shouted back.  
"Okay okay geez, no need to shout" He plonked down on the bed defeated.  
"Has that ever happened before?" Cass asked, trying to restore calm to the situation.  
"What? Spirts dead-naming me? No feathers it hasn't, and that concerns me" Shane was staring off into space.

"Wait you think it's our fault?" Dean asked defensively.  
"Well isn't it odd how everything was just fine until the Winchesters rock up don't ya think?" The prince of hell scoffed.  
"So no ones figured out your not human yet?" Castiel pondered aloud.  
"Well..." Shane started.  
"Well what?" Dean echoed.  
"Okay some of the ghouligans might have noticed a thing or two" Shane commented. "Smart cookies they are" He added with a sense of pride.  
"Ghouligans?" Cass queryied.  
"The unsolved fans" Beezelbub explained.  
"I thought there was only boogaras and shaniacs" Dean was getting more and more confused by the ins and outs of the whole unsolved universe.

"Well yes, but the whole unsolved fans as a whole are called ghouligans. Anyways there's also shitfish but I don't want to bring them into this" Shane murmured, trying not to talk about the shitfish.  
Castiel looked taken aback by the word shitfish. "What are those"   
"The pesky in betweeners that can't decide if their boogaras or shaniacs" The demon shrugged.  
"Hold on a minute, you're one to talk. You hypocrite. You say you don't believe in the supernatural, yet you are a supernatural being" Cass argued with him.  
"People lie all the time Castiel, it's how you become president" The demon joked. Cass couldn't argue with his logic, he had a point.

Castiel, Dean and Beezelbub's banter was cut short by the sound of Ryan re-entering the mansion.  
Ryan returned to the Elsa Lemp suite, this time sporting his pistol of holy water on his holster.   
"Is that-" Dean began to ask only for Ryan to interrupt him.  
"Holy water in a water gun? Yeah don't laugh at me, something legit is happening in this place and I want to get to the bottom of it. Also I called the company and they're getting us a replacement spirt box. You better glad it's not coming out if pocket after that shit you pulled" he pointed angerly at Shane who looked hurt by this tone.

Dean actually wasn't going to laugh at Ryan's holy water gun. It was actually pretty genius, maybe he should get one himself.  
"I said I'm sorry Ryan" The demon looked his co-host dead in the eyes, showing his sincerity.  
"Come on we've got more rooms to check out" Ryan sighed brushing off how he was still irate with Shane's destruction of his ghost hunting gear.  
"Please can we check out the brewery, I really need a drink" Shane sighed.  
"Ditto" Dean agreed begrudgingly with the demon. A stiff drink would make this weird night a bit more bearable for the functioning alcoholic.

"Um guys does the red light mean the camera is on or off?" Castiel asked staring at the camera bewildered.  
"On" Ryan told the Angel.  
"Ah, well now it is" Castiel said.  
"Wait so you got none of that?" Ryan asked wondering what else could go wrong with the night.

"It's probably for the better, besides Dean got the footage anyway on his cam" Shane pointed out.  
To Dean and Shanes delight, Ryan had in fact chosen to cover the brewery portion of the mansion next in their investigation.  
"It's party time boys" Shane said rubbing his hands together.   
About time the ghoul boys had their brewskies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new episode of unsolved comes out tomorrow and I'm hype guys


	6. Dazed and Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys finally have their brewskies and a long kept secret is revealed that could end the future of the ghoul boy's friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since my last update we have been blessed by two new unsolved episodes and they were the shit what a time to be a ghouligan. Also roll on October tenth I miss team free will.

As the boys made their way down the mansion's stairway towards the basement, a thought popped into Dean's mind.  
"Ryan?" Dean turned to the smaller man.  
"Yeah" The ghost hunter replied.  
"Did you always believe in the supernatural?" He asked him cautiously.  
"Funny you should ask, actually no I didn't" Ryan admitted to him shaking his head.  
"Go on" Dean urged Ryan to continue.

"I was a big time skeptic all my life until I was seventeen. My friends and I went to that ship back in Cali, the Queen Mary. Supposed to be hella haunted. Anyway, I thought it was a load of shit. So when we rocked up, I taunted the ghosts thinking it was all a bunch of baloney. Later that night I was repeated poked in the face when I was in bed, but I was too scared to open my eyes. When I finally did to confront my friend who I thought was doing it, I saw he was fast asleep. Then the next morning my fucking toothpaste bag moved all on its own! There's no other explanation, it had to have been a ghost" Ryan concluded.

"That's was gravity Ryan not a spooky spectre moving your shit" Shane instantly argued.  
"I have my beliefs Shane and you have yours" Ryan snarled back at him.  
"Let's call the whole thing off?" Shane smiled cheekily.  
'I didn't imagine it Shane! Okay fine forget about the toothpaste bag, what was poking me in the face then if it wasn't a ghost hmm?" Shane stared back at Ryan, with no witty comeback leaving his lips for once.  
"That's what I thought. Anyway before that day, I didn't believe in ghosts. I thought it was all bullshit but what happened on that boat, it changed me" Ryan looked like he was having war flashbacks but then he snapped out of it.

"Come on we've got work to do. To the brewery" He pointed forward valiantly and raced off down the hall. "The Brewery's in a separate building but it's connected to the house by this tunnel" They explained as they whipped out a flashlight and turned it on. The dark tunnel was illuminated by Ryan's torch light.  
"These tunnels sure don't have tall people in mind" Shane grumbled as he hunched his back to walk down as they made their way towards the brewery.  
"I on the other hand think it's a brilliant design choice, keep out the tall freaks" Ryan laughed.

"It's not funny Ryan my back hurts" The demon grumbled.  
"And you call me a Wimp? Madej your going soft my dude" Ryan teased him.  
"You're talking as if I'm Andre the giant! I'm six four it's not that uncommon of a height" Shane argued.  
"I hate to agree but yeah he's got a point. My brother Sam's the same height as him" Dean told them.  
"Son of a bitch, what kind of diet did you guys have growing up?" Ryan asked.  
"Proteins and lots of em" Shane winked.   
Dean didn't want to think of what that meant.  
"Well jokes on you Shane I'm still better than you at b-ball despite your abnormally long limbs" The smaller man boasted.

"Hey, Cass is the camera on this time?" Shane asked the Angel trying to change the subject swiftly.  
"Ummm yes" He sounded unsure, so Ryan came to inspect the device.  
"Well the cameras fine but the mics have just stopped working all of a sudden. That's odd" Ryan said looking down at the equipment puzzled.  
"Probably because we're so far underground I guess" Dean shrugged, pretending to know anything about the ins and outs of filming equipment instead of knowing how to gank any kind of monster imaginable.

"Yeah that's probably it. Don't worry we've got a boom mic out in the car. Shane do you wanna run out and grab it pal?" Ryan asked his co-host politely.  
"Sure thing, be right back" He shot a finger gun towards to the other host and sauntered off back up the stairs.  
"Stupid equipment. First humongous breaks the spirt box, then the mics just stop working. This place must be cursed for real" Ryan huffed clearly annoyed.  
Dean and Castiel shared a knowing glance. If Ryan only knew the half of it they thought.

Shane returned swiftly with a boom mic in tow. A little too swiftly actually.  
"Whoa, dude did you fucking run up there?" Ryan laughed at his speedy return.  
"Huh? Oh yeah I did" Shane lied.  
"I was thinking that was fast damn dude! Giving Bolt a run for his money huh?" Ryan jokingly hit his friends shoulder.  
"What can I say I've got long legs. Here how about you take it Cass, I think it's more your style than the camera" Shane held out the microphone to the Angel who snatched it from them abruptly.  
"Didn't your mother never tell you it's rude to grab?" Shane asked offended with Cass's lack of manners.

Cass shot the demon a death stare and Dean knew he had to intervene to avoid bloodshed.  
"Say how about we try some of that good old Lemp beer now guys?" Dean hastily suggested.  
"That's a great idea" Shane replied "Maybe if we get Ryan drunk enough he'll stop being such a wuss.  
"Laugh all you want now big guy, but don't come crying to me when you need my holy water gun" Ryan sneered grabbing his pistol and pointing it like James Bond down the lense of Dean's camera.  
The four made their way down the long, winding tunnel until the reached the brewery where they were greeted by the complimentary Lemp brand beers.

"Lemp's extra pale" Cass read the label of the bottle before he sampled the contents. Castiel had become a social drinker due to living with Sam and Dean for so long, but he didn't enjoy the flavour of any alcoholic beverage. Frankly any food stuff tasted like molecules to him, and for him to get any bit intoxicated he needed to drink at least a liquor store worth of booze. Still, he enjoyed spending time with Dean in the bunker's kitchen after a hunt, talking and having a few beers together. He also enjoyed doing some other things after the beers with Dean, but that was neither here nor there.

"That's the good stuff" Dean said knocking back a cold one.  
"It's times like this I really love my job" Shane said sipping from the brown bottle.  
Ryan held out his bottle and urged the others to 'cheers' with him, to which they obliged. "All hail the watcher I guess" He smiled before tasting the product.  
The Angel and the Hunter were confused as to who this watcher was. It couldn't be that bad if they had never heard of them right?  
"Don't confuse the audience man, bringing a true crime bit into a supernatural season yeash!" Shane sighed.  
The boys finished their beers and started actually filming content for the episode of unsolved.

"There's supposed to be a portal to hell down here" Ryan said matter of factly, yet fear was still evident in his words.  
"Wonderful. How homely!" Shane rebuked joyfully.   
"I hate you, you know that" Ryan joked, shaking his head at Shane.  
"Yeah, yeah keep telling yourself that" Shane replied.

"What an old married couple, heck and we should know" Dean whispered to Cass as they lagged behind the two ghost hunters to talk privately.  
"Their just friends Dean" Castiel replied.  
"Yeah so were we, look at us now" Dean gave Cass a little pat on the ass and winked at him.  
"Dean we're professionals, on a case" Castiel blushed.  
"You're right. This is a 'serious' case" Dean did rabbit ears on the word serious. "It's not like this two idiots had an argument a few minutes ago about whether Stuwart Little was a mouse boy or a mouse man" Dean was getting tired of the ghoul boys antics already.  
"You know what I mean Dean. We have to be on our guard...I don't trust them" Cass shot the demon a glance.

Shane whipped around stopping the banter he was having with his co-host, maybe sensing Castiel's hostility towards him coming to the forefront again.  
"So Cass, Dean can you tell us about the history of the joint?" Shane asked trying to catch the hunter and Angel out on their lie that they actually worked there.  
To the demons surprise Cass had come prepared for such an occasion.

"In 1975, the old mansion was purchased by Dick Pointer and his family. Immediately they began to renovate the building, turning it into a restaurant and inn. Workers within the house often told stories of apparitions, strange sounds, vanishing tools, and a feeling of being watched. Frightened by the hauntings, many would leave the job site never to return. The property is said to be haunted by several members of the Lemp family. The area of the property with the most activity is what the staff refers to as, 'The Gates of Hell' in the basement. It is this area of the basement that used to be the entrance to the caves running below the mansion and the brewery" Cass recited the Wikipedia pages entry for the Mansion from memory. 

"I'm sorry for laughing but Dick pointer! What an unfortunate name, poor dude" Shane wheezed wiping a tear from his eye.  
"Okay I'll be the first to admit, it's a funny name" Ryan reluctantly agreed with the other host.  
"Hey Cass, you kinda sounded like Ryan when he does his little narrator voice for the show" Shane chuckled.  
"What's so little about my narratating voice?" Ryan asked offended with Shane's word choice.  
Castiel tilted his head to the side and squinted "You think so?" 

"Yeah it was uncanny" Shane confirmed "Cass how bout you say 'February' for us, that's the real Bergara test right there"  
"February" Cass said, confused about how that particular word had anything to do with Ryan.  
"You're a big bully you know that?" Ryan said to Shane.  
"I'm sorry you can't pronounce February properly Ryan, but that your problem not mine" Shane smiled.  
Ryan silently shook his head.

"He knows his stuff, you're like a walking encyclopaedia my man" The demon nodded approvingly towards Castiel."You're a bit rusty, on the other hand Dean." Shane tutted, making note of Dean's notable silence during Cass's info dump about the mansion's history.  
Dean scowled. "My partner is more well versed on the ins and outs of the business. I'm just a pretty face at reception, he's the brains of the operation. Isn't that right sweetie" He smiled at the Angel.  
"You don't think I'm pretty?" Cass looked visibly upset.  
"I didn't say that. Cass your plenty pretty, it's an expression" Dean stated feeling guilty for making his Angel feel bad.

"I know I just wanted to hear you say it" Cass turned away hiding his shit-eating grin.  
"You sly dog" Dean muttered to himself.  
"So it's a family business? Didn't you say you had a son, does he work here too?" Ryan asked curiously.  
"Yeah family business alright, but no he's too young for all this. My brothers baby sitting tonight. We don't live on the premise, we live a good drive away actually" Dean remembered that tedious eight hour drive from Lebanon. Then it hit him, oh boy. They were gonna have to do it all over again to get back home.  
"Yeah I get that it's a spook fest here, no place to raise a child" Ryan shuddered at the though of living in a haunted house, even a nice big mansion like the Lemp mansion.  
"Unless the kid was like I don't know, the antichrist? Then a haunted house would be the perfect place to raise a boy like that hypothetically" Shane suggested, winking at Dean and Cass.

Castiel didn't care for this sly remark he had made about their adopted son and whacked Shane over the head with the boom mic.  
"Oww! What gives man" Shane rubbed his head.  
"My apopgises" Cass replied, not sounding very sincere and was that a smile draped across his face?  
Ryan didn't notice the little squirmish between the Angel and demon because he was staring down the dark hallway.

"Um guys did you hear that" He asked shakily.  
"Hear what" Dean asked him.  
"It sounded like people whispering, but no ones supposed to be down here after hours" The colour drained from Ryan face.  
"I'm sure it was just the wind Ryan or your over active imagination again" Shane assured him.  
"Dude be quite and listen" Ryan shushed his co-host.  
"Hello? Is there anyone there? Please just be squatters" Ryan called out, receiving no reply.  
The group stood in silence in the narrow tunnel listening intently.

"This would be the perfect time to use the spirt box, if only someone hadn't broken it" Ryan looked at Shane angrily.  
"Ryan I said I was sorry" Shane began to apologise again when suddenly the four were knocked down to the ground by four figures, flickering in and out of their perception like T.V static.

Fuck it's the Lemp's ghosts, Dean thought to himself. They were unarmed, the rock salt loaded shot-guns were still in the trunk of the impala and they had no iron with them either. In other words, they were screwed.  
Ryan began to howl like a banshee as the ghost of William Lemp hoisted him up against the wall.  
"Get out of my house" The grizzled ghost groaned at the ghost hunter who was squirming wildly.  
Dean and Cass tried to move to aid Ryan, but the other Lemp's had them pinned down to the floor.

Charles Lemp had Cass grabbed by the tie and was cutting off his breathing accusing them of breaking into his house and Elsa Lemp was shouting at Dean, confusing him with her ex husband.  
This night just kept getting better and better, Dean thought to himself as the ghost woman shouted abuses at him.  
Shane looked shooked about the ambush, but with little effort he forced the ghost of William Jr off of him and leap to his feet.

"Do something" Dean shouted at the demon, as Elsa Lemp's ghost ugly cried into his face.  
Shane looked conflicted. He could save his friends and reveal himself to Ryan or leave the ghosts to have their fun with them and have his identity remain a secret.  
Fuck. He teleported out of the room and Dean yelled after him "You son of a bitch! You can't leave us here to die! Lady I ain't your damn husband for Petes sake" Elsa was really giving her fake husband an earful and the start of a broken jaw for the slaps she was throwing his way.  
"What do you expect them to do Dean?" Cass squeeked as he got redder and redder, the more the ghost restrained him.

Suddenly Shane had returned to the tunnel with an iron bar in his hand that he swung at Elsa, William Jr and Charles Lemp, causing them to all vanish. Dean and Cass were relived at this unlikely rescue. Shane rushed over to help Ryan, as Dean as Cass helped each other to their feet.

"Hey beer baron, get off my pal!" Shane shouted at the ghost of William Senior who turned his head and released Ryan from the choke hold he had him pinned in. "Yeah I'm talking to you grandpa!" William Senior lunged for Shane and knocked the iron bar across the room out of his reach.  
"Fine you wanna play dirty? Lets go billy!" Shanes real eyes flickered into view, as he banished the spirt from the room by using his demonic powers.  
The room fell silent as the group regained their collective breath after getting roughed up by the Lemp family ghosts.

Ryan was the first to break the silence when he curtly yelled "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED"  
Dean, Cass and Shane looked at each other unsure of what to say to the ghost hunter.  
"You just got pranked?" Shane shrugged his shoulders.  
"The fuck I have. I know what I saw! Dude your eyes were yellow, what is going on around here?" Ryan demanded to know.  
Shane sighed heavily.

"Would you believe me if I were to tell you I have a rare form of eye jaundice?" The demon asked him.  
"No I wouldn't Shane" He shot him eye daggers.  
"New contacts?" The demon tried again.  
Ryan was not impressed "Cut the crap Shane" He bellowed.  
"How about..." Shane looked at Ryan knowing there was no point in lying to him any longer. "Oh boy. Alright okay, Ryan you got me. I-I'm" He sighed "Ryan I'm a demon" He admitted to him.  
Ryan looked pale. "A D-demon" he stammerd"   
Shane nodded slowly, comfirming the statements validity.

"Hey buddy, I understand this has to be a shook to the system. I get it. You're probably confused and scared right now but-" Shanes little speech was cut short when Ryan launched forward and punched the demon in the face.  
"WHAT THE HECK MAN" Shane staggered backwards as blood dripped down his face "I think you broke my nose" He whined as he held his head upwards. "Ahhhhh fuck"  
"You bastard" Ryan hissed through gritted teeth, trying to clock him again.  
Dean had to come between them to drag Ryan off of him. The guy had a mean left hook for the size of him, but then again look at those biceps. He obviously lifts Dean thought to himself.

"Woah dude take it easy" Shane raised his hands up, shielding his bloody face from Ryan's anger.  
"Take it easy? How the fuck am I supposed to take it easy!" He looked Shane in the eyes spitefully "I could take you making fun of me believing in the supernatural when I thought you were just a normal skeptical dude. You mean to tell me that you made me look like an idiot on the Internet when you were a demon all along.This is unbelievable" Ryan began pacing around the room furiously.

"Ryan, I was looking out for you man. Do you get how many ghosts and demons are in these locations we go to? They are swarming with things trying to rip you apart. Let me ask you this, have you ever left one of the shoots with so much as a scratch on you? No, and thats because of me looking out for you" Shane argued.  
"And why would a demon care about my safety? Are you trying to steal my soul or something" Ryan accused him.

Shane frowned at that remark "You're my friend Ryan, why would I let you get hurt? Besides I'm not a crossroads demon I don't give a rats about souls"  
"I'm not buying what you're selling Shane. Wait I guess that's not your name is it?" Ryan assumed.  
The demon stared at the floor. "No" He swallowed.  
"So who are you then" Ryan squinted at his co-host.  
"Beezelbub" He stated flatly.  
"You've got to be shitting me" Ryan ran his hands through his hair from the stress of the situation.

"He's telling the truth" Dean backed him up.  
"Wait you two knew" Ryan added disgusted.  
Castiel and Dean nodded. "Yes we knew" Castiel told him.  
"Don't tell me you guys are demons too" Ryan panicked and raised his fists again.  
"No!" Cas and Dean shouted in sync raising their arms defensively. That little guy had spunk and they didn't want to be on the receiving end of his strong arms.

"No, well not anymore at least. I'm human and Castiel's an angel" Dean explained.  
"Wait slow down. You were a demon before? Ryan looked worriedly at Dean.  
"Well yeah and a ghost and a vampire. Look It's complicated alright but I'm human now okay?" Dean assured him.  
"And he's an angel?" Ryan asked skeptically. "I'm sorry but yeah I get ghosts and demons, there's evidence on film of that but Angels? I think you guys are joshing me now" Ryan folded his arms defensively.

Dean sighed "Cass show him" Castiel nodded and unfurled his impressive dark wings to convince the ghost hunter.  
"Holy shit" Ryan spluttered, backing up against a wall to steady himself.  
"Do you believe us now?" Cass said, wings now back out of human perception.  
Ryan nodded, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.  
"Wait how can you be a demon? Shane we got excorcisms together for fuck sake" Ryan   
"What a cute couples activity, why don't we do that on our next date night?" Dean whispered to Cass, who nudged him for his bad comedic timing.

"Exorcisms are for when demons are inhabiting a meat suit against someone's will. This dude died, so the body was free real estate so to speak." He shrugged looking down at his body.  
"You're parading around in some dead guys corpse? I think I'm gonna throw up" Ryan gagged.  
"You throw up? How do you think I feel in here. Dude was a heroin addict who choked on the pit of an avocado! What a way to go" The demon shook his head.  
"Jesus Christ, you said that's what you were most afraid of in life in an episode" Ryan was piecing the narrative together allowed.  
"Well yeah, I saw how the guy died it wasn't a fun ocassion for anyone involved" The demon stated.  
"Speaking off people involved" Ryan shot Shane a heavy look "Does Sara know what you are"  
"Of course not" Shane laughed.  
"Who's Sara?" Dean asked them.  
"My girlfriend" Shane replied.  
Darn Dean's theory about the ghoul boys was wrong.

"Not for long, I doubt she would willingly date a demon" Ryan retorted.  
"Ryan, you can't tell her are you crazy" His co-host had fear in his eyes.  
"No I'm not crazy, I think I'm the only one with their head screwed on right around here. How are you guys so chill about ghosts trying to kill us? That's not normal. If you care about Sara you'd think she deserved to know the truth Shane" Ryan said to him.  
"Well you know the truth and your taking it swimmingly" Shane shot back sarcastically.  
"Don't dude. I find out my best friends a demon and I'm supposed to just go 'fine' and move on" Ryan yelled.  
"I didn't say that. I'm just saying your not being fair, this would make Sara leave me if you told her. Please man I've already lost my best friend today don't take her away from me too" He pleaded with his co-host.

Ryan stayed silent for a long while before he spoke again. "Who said you lost your best friend" He asked.  
"Well I assumed you kinda cancelled our friendship subscription when you broke my nose" Shane told him.  
"Well your wrong. I'll admit it I'm still freaked out, but you're still the same idiot who I drag to these shoots" Ryan admitted.  
"You mean it?" Shanes eyes lit up.  
"Don't make me say it again dummy" Ryan rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry Shane, he'll get over it eventually" Cass covered his mouth with one hand secretively but everyone could still hear him perfectly."When Dean first met me he shot and stabbed me in the chest, but we're fine now" Castiel assured the demon, giving him a reassuring thumbs up.  
"Cass!" Dean shot him a side eye.  
"What, you did!" Cass confirmed. "I'm just saying violence is a valid expression of intense emotion in stressful situations such as this"   
"Okay Doctor Phil we get it" Dean thanked him for the effort.

"So that thing, it was an actually ghost?" Ryan asked nervously.  
"Yeah, vengeful spirt I guess they aren't thrilled their house is being used as a hotel now" Dean surmised.  
"You guys don't really work here do you?" The ghost hunter concluded.  
"No we lied" Castiel admitted. "Sorry"  
"Then why are you here? Who are you guys?" Ryan squinted towards Cass and Dean.  
"Their big deals where I'm from Ryan" Shane explained. "I'm actually kinda starstruck right now"  
"They are famous in Chicago?" Ryan said puzzled.  
"No buddy, Hell" The demon sighed.

"Oh yes right. Demon Hell right okay, that's gonna take a while to get used to. Oh boy" The ghost hunter was trying his best to keep somewhat composed.  
"I'm Dean Winchester and my brother and I hunt things. Supernatural things. It's kinda the family business and since the family expanded it's been the four of us doing it. Me, Sam, Cass and Jack our son" The hunter explained to Ryan.  
"So you guys are real life ghostbusters?" Ryan looked dazzled at the thought.  
"Yeah pretty much except we got no vacuum cleaners on our backs" Dean smirked. "Anyway we should probably actually do some busting and get those spirts out of here"   
"How are you gonna do that?" Ryan queryied.  
"Fairly simple job, you just have to go to where the bodies are and do a bit of torching" He whipped out his cell to find out where the Lemp's were buried.

"The Lemp family's resting place can now be found in beautiful Bellefontaine Cemetery." The hunter read off the web page allowed.  
"Shane your coming with me" Dean informed the prince of hell.  
"Why? What do you need me for Mister famous hunter" The demon looked confused.  
"I don't need you, I just wanna give your friend some alone time to process what going on" The hunter explained "You good with that"  
"I guess so" Beezelbub walked over to Ryan. "I'm sorry Ryan for lying to you. I just hope you understand why I did." He turned away and teleported out of the tunnel before Ryan could reply, leaving Ryan's mouth hanging open.

"Dean be careful" Castiel grabbed the hunters arm and gazed at him worriedly.  
"I'm always careful Cass" The hunter assured him.  
"We both know that's a lie Dean" Cass stated honestly.  
Dean pulled Castiel in for a hug and placed a soft kiss on his head. "I'll be fine Cass. You keep Ryan from checking himself into the psych ward okay? We won't be long. Promise" The Angel nodded, reluctantly letting go of Dean's arm and Dean turned and walked out of the tunnel.

Castiel turned to the very upset looking Ryan "How about we head upstairs to a more relaxing environment?" Castiel suggested to him. "Could I offer you a brown bag to breathe into? I'm told it helps to calm someone down" He gave Ryan a sympathetic smile.  
Ryan shook his head softly "Thanks I'm good, well as good as I can be as things considering.  
I'm gonna have another drink, fuck it" Ryan grabbed another bottle of beer and chugged til it was empty and reached for another.  
"Dean also says that helps" Cass shrugged his shoulders.  
This had to be one of the most unusual hunts they had ever been involved in, and that was a fact.


	7. Over the Hills and Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane and Dean go out and do some good old fashioned hunting while Castiel and Ryan get emotional back at the Lemp mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry this took so long to update but college is a bitch! Last time I had updated this season 15 of spn hadn't even aired it first episode that's how terrible of a procrastinator I am, oh well! Also if you haven't subcribed to watcher get on that now. Ryan and Shane and Steven have worked so hard to get it going.

Dean made his way through the winding hallways of the Lemp mansion, towards the front door. This whole thing was far from what the hunter was used to hunts being like. Usually he'd give the whole 'the paranormal is real' talk after some clueless schmuck was almost killed by some monster. The fact that this demon was all buddy-buddy with this guy Ryan and was actually protecting him made Dean very wary of the guy. He must have some shitty reason to do so, right? Nice demons don't exist and that was a fact he was sure of. Dean had found that out the hard way, by trusting one and having it bite him in the ass.He walked out into the yard, towards the impala to see Beezelbub inspecting every inch of the vehicle. Oh great Dean sighed to himself, here we go again.

"Now that's what you call a car!" Shane said, clearly throughly impressed with baby. He circled the vehicle looking at the beautiful vintage car, crouching down to look at her rims up close. "She's gorgeous" He let out a low whistle, appreciating how new Dean had the more than fifty year old car looking still.  
"Get in the damn car already, don't make me ask twice!" Dean pinched the top of his nose, annoyed with their shenanigans already. Since when were demons such motorheads anyway he wondered silently.  
"Alright okay!" The demon sighed "Yes Sir, Mister Winchester Sir!" He saluted before teleporting into the drivers side.  
Dean angrily opened the car door, his blood beginning to boil. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" The hunter barked at him.  
"You told me to get in the car" The prince of hell argued, playing dumb.  
"Listen here smartass, you're not driving my car now or ever! Understand?" Dean practically growled at Shane.  
"Spoil sport" Shane huffed as he scooted to the passenger side and Dean took his rightful spot behind the wheel.

Dean started up the ignition and headed towards the cemetery, as his Zepp mixtape played loudly.  
The demon in the passenger side turned his nose up at the driver's music selection.  
"Do you have any music that isn't from before Ryan was born?" Shane began riffling through the glove box of the impala, looking at Dean's collection of classic rock cassettes.  
"What year was that?" Dean sighed, hating having to put up with the smart Alec already.  
"1990" The demon responded immediately, knowing everything about his best friend like it was his civic duty.  
"Not in this car pal and talk about an age gap. How about you hang out with people your own age" Dean judged him and shot them a little bit of side-eye, while still keeping his eyes on the road ahead.  
"You're one to talk, cradle snatching victim" The demon coughed back at Dean.  
Dean turned red suddenly. "I-It's different" He spluttered out.  
"I think a few thousand years does matter pal" Shane chuckled, eyes crinkling as he laughed. "Castiel ain't no spring chicken, more of a sugar daddy rooster I'd say" The demon wiggled his eyebrows toward Dean.

Dean huffed to himself "Look I'm just trying to hurry along this whole trip so your buddy doesn't get beat up by any more ghosts alright? Enough with the running commentary already".  
Shane sighed, Ryan's safety was top priority in his book. "Okay okay, fine but how about some better tunes up in here".  
"Sorry man driver picks the music shotgun shuts his cakehole, thems the rules" Dean smirked to himself.  
A sour look fell upon the demons face. Fine he thought to himself, a man's gotta do somethings for himself. He snapped his fingers and the track on the stereo changed from Led Zeppelin's Ramble on to ABBA's Mama Mia, one of his person favourites.

-I've been cheated by you since I don't know when  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end  
Look at me now, will I ever learn?  
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control  
There's a fire within my soul-

Shane was giving carpool karaoke a run for it's money, with the enthusiasm he was singing along with as the hunter beside him's blood pressure slowly rose higher by the second.  
"Put the tape the way you found it or so help me-" Dean's grip of the steering wheel became tighter and tighter until up you could see the white if his knuckles protruding from his skin.  
"Geez okay okay, don't crash the car Dean! She's too pretty for that" Shane put the music back the way it was before.  
The demon shuffled in his seat, taking in the annoyance on the hunters face with glee.  
"So what's the deal you don't really work in the B&B so is this your guys honey moon spot?" Shane asked him cheekily.

Dean was taken aback back the forwardness of the demon prying into the ins and outs of his love life. Not even Sam had the balls to be so intrusive to his private affairs.  
"Now wait a minute. I wouldn't be spending my honey moon in a lame Victorian B&B with a demon and a youtuber. We're on a case okay!" Dean made the situation clear to them.  
"Seems pretty small fries to me? Don't you Winchesters usually deal will more taxing problems like I dunno the apocalypse?" The demon shrugged.  
"We thought it was worth checking it out and as it happens we stumbled into y'all so I don't think it was a waste of time" The hunter stated saltily. From now on he was definitely going to pay more attention to cases Jack found for them. The kids a natural at the family business, he thought proud of his adopted son.

"Fair enough" Shane nodded acceptingly "Where then?" He said.  
"Excuse me?" Dean furrowed his brow, which highlighted his newly forming crows feet. The majority of hunters don't live to even see forty so Dean was in the lucky minority somehow, despite the atrocities he had already faced during his existence.  
"Where would you wanna honey moon then?" The demon earnestly asked him.  
"Seriously?" Dean was absolutely stunned by the nerve of the guy.  
"Deadly serious" Shane added, nodding confirming his curiosity. 

He wasn't going to justify the demons stupid question with an answer, but then he went silent for a moment thinking to himself. He had never really thought about actually having a wedding, let alone a honey moon. This life wasn't the white picket fence and apple pie type, so it had never occurred to him that he could ever have that. He and Cass had basically skipped the whole marriage step and went straight to basically being co-parents to Jack. Maybe they could still do the whole wedding thing? It's never too late really. Or is it?

After some thought Dean confidently answered "On a beach somewhere, in Hawaiian shirts drinking strong booze from a coconut" He smiled thinking about the sun beating down on him and his Angel, not a care in the world. Just taking in the scenery, no apocalypse to avert just them together. Now that would be nice.  
"I can get behind that" The demon nodded thoughtfully. "So when are you gonna tie the knot?" He pried further into Dean and Cass's love life.  
"I'm not, marriage is just a piece of paper in my book" He lied, he always wanted to have that but his line of work had made him forget about it even being a possibility for him. Hunters rarely dated or had spouses and those who did, well they were almost always six feet under.  
"What about the Angel?" Shane followed up on his earlier question.  
"What about him?" Dean replied defensively, ready to argue with the smarmy demon if he insulted his partner in any way.  
"I would have thought the whole 'verifying the relationship in the eyes of God' thing would be a big deal to the halo" The demon assumed.  
"Cass doesn't really care about Chucks approval and honestly I second that" Dean explained to Shane.

"Chuck?" The demon was visibly confused.  
"Oh right yeah stage name basically, God" Dean clarified for them. "Dudes giving Lady Gaga a run for her money with the guitar and everything! It's really not what I expected from Sunday school" Dean stated.  
"You call God Chuck?" Shane laughed hysterically at the absurd notion.  
"He prefers it" Dean said through gritted teeth.  
"Wait he's actually still alive?" The demon sounded honestly surprised.  
"Yeah out there somewhere" He looked up and around at the dull night sky above them as if searching for a sign of the Devine Mister Shurley "Not that he gives a rats ass about any of us" He murmured angrily.  
"Cheers to that bro" Shane nodded approvingly.

Dean swung the impala into the cemetery with the skill of a nascar driver and pulled up to where the Lemp family tomb was situated. He turned the car off and both he and the prince of hell in the passenger side exited the vehicle swiftly.  
"Strange bedfellows you keep Dean, that says a lot about a guy who he surrounds himself by. So for you that's Angels, demons and the actual God himself" Shane loomed over the hunter and Dean dug around in the trunk, making sure he had everything he needed to properly sent the Lemp's spirits to the other side.

"I'm in a graveyard late at night, a few beers in with a hunter. What a strange night indeed!" Shane noted out loud.  
"Trust me, I've had stranger" Dean assured them as he slammed baby's trunk closed.  
"I somehow doubt it bucko" The demon argued with him.  
"Ever had Lucifer and Chuck having a Doctor Phil session in your front room when you just wanna go to fucking sleep" Dean asked Shane.  
"Alright that trumps this, geez" Shane looked defeated. "You guys never can catch a break can you?" A look of genuine pity washed over his long face.

"Oh don't you dare act like you care" Dean practically hissed at the demon.  
"Look I know you think I'm just like the other demons but I despite that I actually have a conscious unfortunately, so yeah I emphasise with your messed up life" Shane admitted to them.  
"Cry me a river pal" Dean rolled his eyes so hard, they might have got stuck in the back of his head if it had been windy in the cemetery.  
"Do you know how hard it is being a demon with a moral compass?" Shane complained.  
"Yeah well how does that moral backbone of yours feel about busting open a grave?" Dean asked him.  
"I've never grave robbed Dean that's too many levels of fucked up bro" Shane bickered.  
"It's exhuming a corpse, it's different" Dean assured them.  
"Yeah keep telling yourself that man if it helps you sleep at night" The demon responded.

"Why do I stuck with a wussy demon" Dean grumbled.  
"Careful who your calling wussy boy" Shane's height advantage over the hunter made the lanky demon scarier than Dean had anticipated.  
The hunter was at his wits end with them at that point.  
"Look I wanna get out of here as fast as possible so head down and do what I say. We gotta Salt and burn these people before they try and kill your pal again back at the house" Dean said plainly.  
Shane lingered for a second before sighing in agreement to continue the task at hand, with minimal animosity towards the hunter.

The pair made their way over to the mausoleum the Lemp's were buried in. The tomb was a dull grey colour and looked as if no one had frequented it in quite a number of years, judging by the dust and cobweb strewn entryway.  
Dean struggled to open the tomb up and admitted his defeat. "I'll get something from the impala to bust this open" He turned to walk away but Shane stopped him in his tracks.  
"I'll save you the journey bud" Shane flicked his wrist and the tomb was ajar. "Open sesame" He smiled widely.  
Dean stared at him for a moment.  
"What? I'm helping" Shane asked defensively.

"Maybe you're not as useless as you look" Dean shrugged more impressed than he would let on.  
"Real mature" Shane scoffed at the hunter.  
"Sorry beer baron your brews are good but we need you to move the heck on now" Dean poured salt onto the corpse and pulled a lighter out of his jacket pocket and dropped it onto the body.  
"So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye" Shane began to sing, whilst waving at the dead bodies that were alight.  
Dean so badly wanted to face palm in that moment but he remained somewhat composed."Hey would you not just use matches? That's a waste of lighters" Shane suggested as he noticed Dean pulling out a separate lighter for the other Lemp cadavers.

"Shut it, I've been doing this since I was in dippers. I know what I'm doing" Dean shot back at him annoyed.  
"That's a depressing childhood" The prince of hell joked.  
"Yeah it is and I wouldn't have had my life ruined if Azzael hadn't burned my mom on the ceiling now would I?" Dean snapped, getting heated.  
"Woah look here, I'm not responsible for other demons actions Dean" Beezelbub argued. "You have every right to be mad I'm not taking that away from you but I didn't do anything to you man so don't take it out on me" He said defensively.  
"Well sorry if I can't look at any of you freaks without thinking of my mom burning up on a ceiling and my entire life falling to shit with her" Dean stormed away his emotions getting the better of him. 

"But you wouldn't have met Castiel either" The demon shouted after them.  
Dean turned on his heel. "Excuse me?"  
Shane strode over to him "I said if your Mom never died, you would have never met Castiel. No Azzael means no hunter winchesters, which means no need for you to have got rescued from hell by your seraph in shining armour now would it" Shane concluded.  
Fuck he's right, Dean thought to himself. He wanted to smack that arrogant dick in the face. He stared them down.

"Would you give up the life you have now for a normal one without them in it?" Shane queried.  
"Not in a heartbeat." The hunter admitted honestly.  
"Well there you go." Shane said pleased with himself. "Everyone's got their crap man stow it your life could be so much worse believe me" He added.  
Dean wanted to smack the demon in the face and wipe that smirk off his face but he was too damn tired to start a fight.  
"Come on, We gotta get back to the mansion before Cass and Ryan drink all that sweet beer" Dean turned and headed toward the impala.  
"Yeah sure that's why your in such a rush big boy" The demon winked at Dean.  
"Shut it" Dean rolled his eyes as they began their drive back to the Lemp Mansion.

_____________________________________________________________________

Ryan was sprawled out on a chaise lounge in the mansions living room, on his sixth beer as Castiel worriedly stood beside them.  
"Maybe you should slow down on the alcohol Ryan" He cautiously suggested to the ghost hunter.  
"Your not my mother dude, heck I barely even know you" He waved the bottle towards Cass's face, but accidentally slammed his hand into the side of the chair.  
He rubbed his hand "Fuck that hurts Ryan whined.

"Yes, I think breaking someones nose would have an adverse effective on your hand" Cass stated rolling his eyes.  
"I forgot about that. Oh my god I'm a bad person aren't I?" Ryan's eyes grew wider.  
"No your not a bad person Ryan you just reacted to a stressful situation in a physical manner, it's a very natural... a very human response. Here let me see" The Angel crouched to get to Ryan's level.  
Cass placed his hand above Ryan's injured one and shut his eyes. A bright light emitted and then with that, Ryan's hand felt as good as new.  
Ryan flexed his fingers in awe and gasped a shocked "Woah".

"Your very welcome" Cass smiled weakly. Lately he had felt useless at times as his powers weren't what they used to be. He supposed that's what happens when you get resurrected over and over again. He was glad he could still heal to some capacity, it made him feel like he was doing good in a world so overrun with evil. No it made him feel like he was good, something he grappled with a lot since he rebelled against heaven all those years ago. 

"Hey if you can do that" Ryan gestured to his fixed hand "Why didn't you fix Shane's nose?" Ryan asked Cass earnestly.  
Castiel sighed "I wasn't sure he deserved to be healed" The Angel hated to say it but it was the truth.  
"Hold up isn't that kinda... racist?" Ryan raised his eyebrows accusingly towards the seraph.  
Cass squirmed uncomfortably on the spot "I suppose you could say that yes. If I'm being honest I find it difficult dealing with Shane's kind. It's built into me to dislike demons even if they aren't always bad" Castiel admitted, slightly ashamed to even acknowledge this inherited prejudice.  
Ryan let this information simmer for a second before asking the Angel another question."What you said about Dean earlier, you rescued him from hell. Was he a bad guy?" Ryan pondered.  
"No quite the opposite. He made a deal, for his brothers life in exchange for his. Going yo hell was just the consequence for his sacrifice" Cass explained to the youtuber.

Castiel remembers the day he was sent to save the righteous man like it only happened yesterday. He still didn't know why his garrison has been enlisted to retrieve the Michael sword from hell. It made barely any sense really. If Michael wanted his vessel so bad why didn't he go get them himself? But he didn't. He probably said it would be easier to send expendable, lower-ranking Angels into that war zone than for the precious prince of heaven to go get a scratched up down in the pit. Whatever reason lead Castiel's garrison being chosen for the mission, he was so happy because of it. Hell was exactly what it said on the tin. The battle to get Dean out was long and harrowing. Castiel lost many of his soldiers just trying to get to Dean and many more when he actually had to return him to the Earth. When he finally got through the carnage with Dean in tow he had never felt more alive in all his days of existence. He made all the Angels know of his handy work when they returned to Earth when he proudly announced that "Dean Winchester is saved". Hester had said that when Castiel first laid a hand in Dean in hell he was lost but she had it all backwards. That was when he was saved. Dean may have been raised from perdition that day, but in reality it was Castiel who was saved. Dean thought him what it was to have free will, to choose your own path in life, to be loyal to those you care about and he loved him for it. He thought him how to love.

"And when was that?" Ryan asked them.  
"About ten years ago" Castiel reminisced.  
"Wow it seems like you guys have known each other forever" The ghost hunter stated.  
"We've been through a lot together" Castiel stated dreamily, a soft smile creeping upon his face.  
"Yeah like literally hell" Ryan chuckled, taking another swig of his beer.  
"And purgatory also" Cass added, recalling the time he and Dean had spent there.  
"Wait so purgatory is actually a real thing too?" Ryan's eyes grew wide as he tried to conceptualise this fact.

"Yes the metaphysics of reality, it's all very complex" Castiel sighed tiredly.  
"I still can't totally wrap my head around it all. So Lucifer was an angel but he was bad so bad Angels are a thing so it should make sense that good demons exist too but it sounds ridiculous even saying it." Ryan admitted.  
"Bad Angels are more common than you'd expect unfortunately" Cass said heavily, remembering Metatron, Naomi and the countless other brothers and sisters that had wronged him and the people he called his real family over the years.  
"Is that brown bag still on the table?" Ryan asked looking very red and scared.  
Cass nodded, as he produced one from his trench coat pocket and handed it to Ryan who began huffing into it rapidly.  
"Ryan are you alright?" The Angel asked, worried for the paranormal investigators wellbeing.

Ryan lowered the paper bag from his mouth. "No man, I'm pretty far from alright right now. I've been palling around with a demon for years!" He shot back in a panic.  
"I'm sorry of course this must be all very hard to process for you" The Angel felt idiotic for asking Ryan if he was okay. Of course he wasn't, his whole world view had been flipped on its head. He was only adding insult to injury with his poor consoling skills, but he would feel worse if he didn't try and offer Ryan help in this turbulent time.

"You can say that again" Ryan added.  
"He's still your friend even through he's a demon Ryan" Castiel plonked next to him on the couch.  
"I'm an angel and I've done bad things" Guilt filled his eyes. "We aren't defied by what we are but who we choose to be" Cass still didn't know what Shane's intentions were with Ryan, but he had indeed kept him out of harms way thus far and that fact accounted for something.  
Ryan sighed "I always thought he was a little weird but he's not demon weird. Actually fuck it makes sense. No sane guy thinks it's a good idea to call a demon a pussy unless they are one".

"Besides Dean and I, we've had help from demons in the past" Cass informed Ryan remembering working with Crowley and Meg.  
"So they were good demons?" Ryan was feeling lost trying to grasp all this.  
"I wouldn't go that far... mortality isn't simply just good or bad there's a scale and there's a lot of grey areas involved too. Ryan, Shane choose to be your friend doesn't that account for his character?"  
"Yeah I guess it does" Ryan sighed, sinking back down into the crease in the sofa he had formed.

_____________________________________________________________________

"Where did you and Ryan meet anyways?" Dean tried making small talk with the demon, to make the ride back to the Lemp house a little more bearable.  
"Buzzfeed" Shane shot back straight away.  
"You sure about that" The hunter gave them a skeptical look. Dean knew a rat when he saw one and Shane was as a YouTube comment he had seen said 'sexy in a rat way". Not that Dean had the hots for him or anything he was spoken for of course, but he saw the rodent-ness the comment spoke of.  
"Dean you know are good at spotting other people's lies? Liars" Shane smirked at him.  
"Touché" Dean nodded. Heck he lies everyday of his life, he sure as hell isn't a federal marshal but he tries to walk the walk when the situation calls for it.

"Well done, I'm impressed. The queen Mary. I was dicking around in the boat trying to freak out some teenagers for the fun of it and then Ryan showed up. Total skeptic said it was all hooey and I knew I had found a perfect target, so I just messed with him a bit" The demon explained.  
"That far back huh, why are you still hanging around the poor bastard?" Dean asked puzzled.

"What can I say? I grew attracted to the little guy so I kept tabs on him. He started working for Buzzfeed so I said what the hay, we could be colleagues. Pulls some strings got a job there in the same department as Ryan. Then he started his unsolved show with Brent and I knew I had to hop on that gig! I mean a show about providing the existence of the Supernatural with one of the hosts themselves being a supernatural being? The irony of me saying I'm a skeptic too! It's just a huge joke" Shane chuckled to himself.

"Wait, wait who's Brent" Dean asked confused.  
"The original co-host of unsolved, I'm Ryan's sloppy seconds" The demon explained to him smirking.  
"Number one gross and number two what happened to the Brent guy?" Dean wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer but he had to ask regardless.  
"I killed him and ate his liver" Shane casually shrugged.  
Dean looked panicked as the blood visibly drained from his face. "Dude gross" He gagged.

"I'm joking" Shane laughed heartily "You should see your face right now its priceless. He's fine, now I promise. I just roughed him up a bit and told him to quit the show and then offered to fill in for him!" The demon smiled.  
"You're a damn piece of work" Dean sighed shaking his head.  
"What! I wanted this gig so I did what I had to to get it. I think I'm an excellent problem solver" Shane was clearly pleased with himself, smiling ear to ear. 

As they approached the mansion once again, Dean was relieved he didn't have to continue this conversation any longer.  
Dean and Shane finally returned to the B&B and regrouped with Ryan and Cass in the front of the house.  
"Hey you two doing alright, any trouble from the ghosts since we left" Dean asked with an air of worry in his voice, despite him trying to play it cool in front of the Unsolved duo.  
"No everything was fine" Castiel assured him that they had a perfectly normal time in the mansion whilst Dean and Shane were elsewhere.

"Well they won't be bothering anybody no more, the Lemp's got the good old season et flambé" Shane announced smugly.  
Ryan looked onwards perplexed by what the heck Shane meant.  
"He means salt and burn, we torched them" Dean explained to the ghost hunter. "They won't be pinning anymore youtubers up against walls now" They assured them.  
"Ah that's somehow both comforting and horrifying" Ryan grimaced. "So guys what are we gonna do about the footage that can't see the light of day can it?" Ryan asked sadly. He had finally got the proof of the paranormal he had been searching for but he wouldn't be able to share it with the world.

"Let's not worry about that right now. Look it's been a long night and we're all tired. So how about we turn in and regroup in the morning to talk about all that went down. Okay?" Dean said to the others.  
"Yeah that sounds reasonable" Ryan was very thankful for this suggestion as he would get some well needed shut eye.  
"Great! See you two tomorrow over breakfast we can answer any of your pressing questions after I get my five hours. Night you two" Dean waved to Ryan and Shane as he headed up the stairs after swiping the keys to a suite from behind the front desk.  
"See ya" Ryan replied and Shane nodded towards the hunter.  
Cass stood at the bottom of the stairwell pensively "Remember what I said Ryan. Goodnight Shane, Goodnight Ryan" He bid them farewell.

Dean's head popped up from the top of the staircase "Cass darlin' what's the hold up" He voiced down from above them.  
"I'm coming Dean, patience is a virtue" Cass replied following him up the steps.  
"Oh yeah well so is-" the two disappeared into their room, their snarky conversation fading out of earshot.  
"Those two are match made in heaven" Ryan muttered to his co-host.  
"Well hell actually. A match made in hell..." Shane corrected him, feeling awkward.

"It's just a phrase... never mind. I'm going to go turn in too, I'm pooped. If you need me I'll be in my room" He headed up the staircase towards the Elsa Lemp suite, hoping he wouldn't be needed. He was still trying to decide how he felt about his friend not being who he thought they were this whole time. On the one hand he had been provided with definitive proof of the existence of the supernatural, something all people in his line of work would quite literally kill for but it didn't feel like he had imagined it would. It felt sour and sad. His pal wasn't a sardonic skeptic, he was a fucking demon, one of the things that go bump in the night that should scare the pants off of people like Ryan yet he was still the same guy he goofed around with and made a stupid hotdog themed space opera and occasionally looked like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. How can both of those realities exist simultaneously? His head was practically spinning.

"Goodnight Ryan" Shane waved to his buddy.  
"Night..." He muttered back tiredly.  
Ryan's brain hurt from all the crazy happenings of the day he couldn't wait to get his head onto that pillow and nod off. Now if only life were that simple...


	8. Heartbreaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel discuss some domestic matters and other more sausey things in the luxury of the Lavender Suite while Ryan's hope for a good night sleep is interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe during this scary time, here's something to hopefully distract you from all that mess for a little while, I hope you enjoy. As always I love reading all the comments on this this they really bring a smile to my face so feel free to voice your opinions don't be shy I don't bite! Also I'm sorry that I'm a bit slow to update, its just the fact that remote learning for college is really annoying oh well!
> 
> Follow me over on tumblr for more regular scheduled content over on @onesassyvessel

Castiel and Dean had decided to spend the night in the extravagant Lavender suite, on the second floor. They had choose that particular room because of it's private bathroom, king sized bed, and the fact that was the largest of all the suites in the mansion. It had once served as the Lemps' master bedroom and frankly Dean wanted a taste of the high life the beer baron had lived, and well Cass was just complying with his partners slightly odd wishes.  
"Woah this place is swanky!" Dean exclaimed as he took in the luxury of the room, compared to the usual dives he was used to staying in. "Free tote bag and continental snacks?" He read off the brochure as he walked over to the table next to the gigantic bed, to inspect their free goods. "What makes these peanuts so continental?" Dean looked confusedly at a packet of salted nuts on the table, beside some bottles of orange juice. Nice to know he wouldn't be experiencing the horrors of scurvy soon as he intently to swipe all those bottles before they returned home to the bunker.  
"They do come from a continent I suppose" Castiel disputed in a monotone manner.  
"Yeah so does everything, doesn't make it continental does it?" The hunter huffed. "I'm digging this tote bag though. Perfect for my shotgun babe right?" Dean posed with the bag swung over his left shoulder, giving Cass his best blue steel all the while.

"I'm still not happy that Jack used my credit card without permission" Cass responded in annoyance, actively ignoring Dean's ongoing antics in favour of discussing more domestic and pressing matters than how adorable the hunter would have looked carrying a firearm around town in his new tote.  
"Sunshine, you mean Jimmy Novak's credit card" Dean teased Castiel with a smirk plastered on his face.  
"It's my money Dean. I saved some of my earnings from when I worked at the gas and sip, I earned it. I've done more days of honest work than you have, need I remind you" The Angel retorted getting a little snappy with his lover.  
"Okay fair enough, ouch that was a low blow" Dean shrugged, slightly wounded by these words.  
"Well credit card scams and hustling aren't very honourable ways of making a living" Cass declared with a judgemental gaze. Fuck he looked so sexy when he was angry Dean thought to himself. "Maybe that's where Jack got the idea to do it, we don't want to confuse him about right and wrong so early into his development" Cass accused Dean of being a not so stellar influence on their kid.  
"In my defence I'm legally dead so how do you suppose I get a steady paycheque sweetheart?" Dean asked his partner for any bright ideas, to overcome that glaring obstacle to their plan to get him out into the workforce.  
"How about fake identity, 'Steve' worked for me. I'm sure you could pull it off also considering you pretend to be a US Marshall or a Special Agent every day of the week " Cass assured him.

"Alight fair point. You win this round" Dean sighed defeatedly. "Guess I'll start handing in resumés once we get back home then. Special skills: can kill any monster under the sun but doesn't work well with others, yeah I'm totally gonna be swamped with job offers" The hunter joked.  
"I will relish in this victory" Castiel smiled smugly. "Besides any establishment would be lucky to have you on staff Dean" He added lovingly.  
"Ah shucks Cass, you're making me blush" Dean turned slightly pink from this praise he just received from his angelic companion.  
"It's true, you're a very dedicated individual who can accomplish anything when you put your mind to and you deserve success" The Angel assured him of his sincerity in the current situation.  
"I'll make sure to put you as my reference then, since you can give them such a glowing review of my capabilities. Both in and out of the bedroom" Dean coughed the last part of the sentence out as he waggled his eyes brows suggestively.

"Unless you are planning on becoming a male escort Dean, I think all the information given about your skills should remain above board" Castiel concluded the hypothetical conversation about Dean seeking employment in a field with a lesser death rate than hunting things that go bump in the night.  
As much as he had just teased him, Cass wouldn't enjoy if Dean had a day job as he'd be left in the bunker awaiting his return impatiently with only Sam's mini Ted talks about the difference between one variety of Kale and another and Jack's innocent questions such as "Cass why am I growing a beard under my arms?" He loved both his adoptive son and his longtime friend of course, but time spent with Dean truly made his days so much brighter. Besides it was quite difficult to try and make conversation about green vegetables and the concept of armpit hair for more than a few moments before going a little bit crazy.

Dean chuckled at Castiel's remark about him becoming a male escort, but choose to instead steer the conservative elsewhere before it went down any R rated avenues.  
"I still can't believe we're gonna be sleeping in a beer barons bed! Try saying that three times fast" Dean practically beamed at the king sized bed before him, a far cry from what he was used to slumbering on.  
"This is the height of luxury" Castiel announced sarcastically.  
"Okay John Mulaney, dial it back a bit on the snark" Dean tried not to laugh at the Seraph's unintentional reference to the stand up comedian.  
"Dean I don't understand that reference but who said anything about sleeping" Cass squinted at him.  
"Cass, you dirty son of a bitch" The hunter gasped playfully, eyes wide in surprise with his forwardness tonight.  
"I didn't mean that, I just thought you'd want to keep an eye on Ryan and Shane" Castiel made himself clear.  
"Oh please, what more trouble can those dummies get into?" Dean replied optimistically. He probably couldn't have counted his chickens before they had hatched but hey, the guys not a psychic.

"Anyway, can't we just enjoy what we've got here for once since the room is so pricey after all" The hunter whistled looking online at the booking fee "We should just pretend to work at haunted hotels more often" He concluded, as he tossing his cell onto the bedside table.  
"Did we just take out this place out of business by getting rid of the spirits Dean? Will that no effect the real owners livelihoods" The Angel asked with a guilty look on his face.  
"Fuck Cass, I didn't think about that" Dean began to scratch as this neck in thought. "How about you whip up a mini miracle instead? Ya know like a stain that looks like Jesus on the wall or something to attract the religious tourists instead of the paranormal ones. It's the least we can do for them after ghostbusting their biggest draw of customers right?" Dean concluded.  
"Saving people, dismantling tourist traps, the family business" Cass smirked back at them.  
"You're a real jokester when you wanna be" Dean raised his eyebrows.  
"What can I say, I learned from the best" He said plonking next to him on the King size bed. "Sure I can whip something up as you say, I'll do that in the morning. This day has been quite eventful hasn't it" He added.

"That it has babe. How long has it been since we had some quality uninterrupted alone time hmm? Dean rubbed his partners arm fondly  
"Three weeks, four days and seven hours" Castiel answered back immediately.  
Dean stared at him, taken aback. He was aware it been been quite a while since they had enjoyed a night solely in each other's company, without something cropping up to ruin it. Whether it was a case Sam had just stumbled across or Jack seeking refuge from a particularly scary nightmare something always seemed to ruin their special moments together. Obviously Cass had noticed this also, since he was able to give such accurate information regarding their lack of special time as of late.  
"Approximately" Cass added to try break the awkward silence, rubbing the back of his neck tensely as a tinge of embarrassment took hold of them.  
"Okay that was a rhetorical question, but Cass I'm flattened you've been counting the hours-" The hunters train of thought was cut off as Castiel grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him passionately. The hunter took the initiative as he pulled the Angel closer, as they both began to undress frantically to engage in some hopefully uninterrupted special time at long last...

____________________________________________________________________

As soon as he got upstairs and inside the door of the Elsa Suite, Ryan changed into some sweats and turned out the light and retired into the antique bed with its floral patterned duvet. His eyelids dropped heavily down as the exhaustion was finally starting to make itself known. That certainly was a day he wasn't gonna forget anytime soon, but not for the reasons he'd hoped for. He always assumed that finally obtaining proof of the paranormal would make him feel accomplished and fulfilled but instead he just felt empty and alone. One of his best friends and closest co-workers was a demon all this time and he didn't so much notice anything off about him. Okay sure he was an odd guy but he just thought that was what mid westerns were like! His thoughts churned around in his head while he laid in the bed and he just wished this nightmare of a day could end and the sweet realise of sleep of take hold of him. Before he nodded off into unconsciousness however a gentle knocking of knuckles tapped against the old wooden door of his room.

"Ryan it's me" The voice from the other side of the door stated "Are you still up?" It was his co-host he the realised, recognising that particular voice anywhere.  
Ryan swung his legs out over the side of the bed and strolled to the door. He hesitated to open it for a moment before he sighed and did so regardless of his instincts telling him not to follow through.  
"Hey" Ryan mumbled tiredly, as he opened the door to Shane. Something in his head chirped up "You know what kind of person opens doors they know a demon is on the other side of? A LUNATIC". They tried to ignore this inner voice however and continued what they were doing despite its sound reasoning.  
"Hi" Shane responded, looking awfully small for a guy of 6'4 in that particular moment. "I just wanted to see if you were doing okay" He added, worry clear in his voice.

"Me? Oh I'm swell, just peachy" Ryan stated dryly, as he resisted the strong urge to roll his eyes to this statement.  
"Hey look I get it man, it's been a stressful day for everyone" Shane assured their fellow ghost-hunter.  
"No look man I don't think you do get it" Ryan argued as he started to become irate. "Tonight I came in here with my best friend ready to do another shoot and tomorrow I'm gonna be leaving with someone totally new and a bunch of footage I have to say is corrupted so the world doesn't implode" Ryan finished his rant with a deep sigh.  
"Okay sure the whole knowing the truth thing is tough. I can empathise, but nothing has really changed between us man, I'm still your pal" Shane tried his best to smile "You're my friend" They chocked out.

"I know that it's just..." This whole ordeal had Ryan's head all messed up and his thoughts were practically spinning around inside his cranium. "We can't be the ghoul boys anymore if one of us is actually a ghoul" Ryan pointed out to them.  
"Ryan I'm not a ghoul. They're a whole other kettle of fish I don't eat people!" The demon argued.  
"You know what I mean dude" Ryan asserted. "Ghoul, demon, ghost it's all the same type of weird to me man" He cried out.  
"You think I'm a monster" Shane stated, voice slightly shaking despite his best efforts to keep it steady.  
"I didn't say that Shane" The smaller man shuffled awkwardly, not wanting to admit that was exactly the thing he had been thinking to himself. That proved how well Shane knew him and it stung.

"You meant it though, go on just say it" Shane glared at his co-host. "No it's fine I get it. You people will never understand, will you. I've protected you for how long and yet I'm the monster? Fine! I know when I'm not welcome" The demon blurted as they began to leave.  
"Shane wait! I didn't say you were a monster" Ryan protested with them.  
"But you were thinking it weren't you" The demon's voice slightly cracked.  
"Shane" Ryan looked at the ground "You're not being fair man. I need time to process all this alright. I can't do this right now and I know we usually bunk together during investigations but I'm not sleeping in the same room as you tonight, I'm sorry I just can't knowing what I know now" Ryan couldn't look them in the eyes from embarrassment, so his gaze instead fixed upon their shoes.  
"Jokes on you I don't actually need to sleep. Now I don't need to keep up my Oscar award winning sleep performances every time we stay over one of these joints" Shane smiled, clearly pleased with himself and his convincing acting chops.

"Was that supposed to comfort me? If anything that's actually a lot worse" Ryan felt very uncomfortable and shuffled in place, thinking about all the times he must have faked being asleep during their investigations together.  
"You're right, sorry I'm dumb. I'll see you tomorrow" He turned to leave the doorway.  
"Shane where are you going" Ryan called after him.  
"For a walk pal, don't worry the local virgins are gonna be fine. Rest up Ryan you've got to think of a pretty baller lie for the company of how we "lost" all that footage" Shane said to his co-host.  
"Goodnight Shane...again" Ryan said tiredly, wishing he could just lay his head to rest so this day could finally be over.  
"Night Ryan. I promise I won't interrupt your beauty sleep again tonight" He assured him, as he left the room and descended down the staircase.  
The demon needed to get his head on straight, and fresh air would help him to do that...


End file.
